Hoth: Blood and Ice

[Luth Khalan]

"What has you so convinced that the Emperor survived? Well, that term is inaccurate, but you know what I mean."

[Layne Hoshin]

"Believe me, I'd have happily kept pretending it wasn't true. But... Sylvain convinced me. What he saw, put together with what I saw and knew... it was hard not to believe it to be true, even *if* I didn't trust him. And I *do*. He was always... well, when we were both apprentices under Baras, we were like siblings, always bickering and trying to kill each other to get our master's approval. Though, I did most of the attempted murder, I guess. Despite all of that, he still reached out to me toward the end. We still ended up trusting each other. I don't know all that's happened to him since those days of course. He must have changed like we all have... but I still trust that he's trying to do the right thing..."

"...even if he's just as stupid about it sometimes as I am."

She shrugged. "Anyway, after he shared what he saw with me... well, another confirmed it. That the emperor is still around in a fashion. This other's... not exactly sane... but they've never steered me wrong. And there's no denying the Force brought us back together for a reason."

[Luth Khalan]

"I believe it, I just don't have the dots to connect, here," she explained. "I'm trying to find them. Not that I suppose it matters whether I do or not." She waved it off.

"Yeah... I haven't known him as long as you have, but Syl's always been solid since I got to know him. When I was granted leave after Nar Shaddaa, I went with him during the year he was exploring. I have yet to meet someone who hasn't been stupid about doing the right thing. Those who try to do it, anyway."

[Layne Hoshin]

"Everything is connected through the Force," she said, "Events, people, dots as you say. Most of them won't make sense until they do. Some never will. It's hard enough see and understand the dots from your own point of view, much less that of others. I suppose it will all just seem rather vague to you, but if there is any further clarification you're seeking, then ask."

[Luth Khalan]

"Fair." She shrugged. "You've never actually said what you saw to know what your perspective is in the first place, though. If you're not willing to, that's fine, you have more than enough reasons not to say. My vision is being blocked, though. Actively. Normally the Force likes to hit me with metaphorical future nonsense whenever it wants, but I can't get much even with effort lately. A voice and a reiteration of what's already been seen is it."

[Layne Hoshin]

"It showed me *everything*," she said, "Like I said, all my failures. Not just seeing them. Reliving them as if they were happening right then and there. Not just the failures either. All the terrible things that had happened, that I had suffered. That I had done."

She made a dismissive motion with a hand.

"But before that, it showed me other things. Not quite memories, but something in the guise of them. First I was back on Korriban, talking to... hmm... I don't suppose Sylvain ever told you about Veers or Magara-sha? An ancestor of mine, come back from death to walk among the living again. Connected to Sylvain too, in a way, but for him it was only for a little while. I grew attached to her. In this version of her that the vision showed me, she talked about how we'd agreed to kill Sylvain and then Baras, which is... not how it happened. Not what the plan was. I asked her why she was suddenly so interested in killing Baras when she never cared before, and then instead of her, I was talking to another version of *myself*. Continuing to push in that direction. It turned from one other version of myself, to countless."

"It was trying to unbalance me, of course. Push me to the dark side through lies. But there is always truth in the darkest lies. I argued with myself, and then asked it who it really was, and what it wanted. And then it stopped being me, and took on the guise of a student from our class on Korriban. Gerald Hin, who had been killed by Zash when she was an instructor there, as part of that ritual I mentioned. That ritual had turned him into a force wound, a thing existing between life and death, an existence of pure suffering. Helping him move on from that state was what ultimately put me on the path to becoming a Jedi, ironically enough. In this vision, he told me Sylvain was dying and that I could help him. That all I had to do was continue along and face my failures."

"I did as he said, and walked further into the vision, to find myself on a ship. Facing Darth Zash. In that moment I thought it might've been really her. She had managed to fool people through illusions before, after all. It would have made sense to meet her again, here on Hoth. I talked to her as if she was real, but she wasn't. And then Gerald returned to dominate the vision again. Angry with me for letting her walk from what she'd done, at my willingness to let her and others be redeemed when they shouldn't be. I couldn't take it anymore, the tricks and jumping back and forth... I demanded it tell me what it wanted. And then it showed me, like I said, all those failures."

She sighed. "Most of that probably just sounds like pathetic fear and uncertainty, I imagine. Most of it bears no relevance to your question I guess, other than to provide the context to my perspective. But, if you've paid attention, you will have seen the pattern. First, there was a ghost; come back to the living. Then there was one of the living, who died but did not die and got trapped between life and death. And then there was the one who did it to him, in search of immortality. A pattern. Symbolism..."

"...Put together with what Sylvain saw, an undeniable meaning began to be discerned."

[Luth Khalan]

She settled back and nodded a little bit. "You've been involved in a lot. I'm sure it could have shown you any number of other things rather than focus on those particular events. I can see where that's where your thought process would go, especially under the circumstances."

"Honestly, I don't think you're wrong with what Sylvain told me about what he saw, too. You've been working against the Emperor for a long time, so it makes sense even if it was just preying on you that it would be like that, so the context of other visions helps. An awful lot of semi-immortal beings and possession. A vast, overwhelming number of possible futures. And legacy."

[Layne Hoshin]

"The Dark side may lie, deceive, and make false promises, but there is truth in it if you can sort it from all the rest. Just as there is truth in the Light that should not be dismissed. Either way, I trust in the Force. If your vision is being blocked... perhaps someone merely does not want you to see..."

"...Or perhaps it is the Force itself telling you not to look. Or it could be both at once, I suppose. Either way, you could take it to mean you're not meant to focus on things that might destroy you, and save yourself instead and whomever you care to take with you. That is a choice you must make, I believe. Or time and circumstances out of your hands, will likely make it for you."

[Luth Khalan]

"That is all true."

"I'm certain someone doesn't want me to see. There was an intelligence behind it," she replied with a frown.

"I'm contrary. Maybe it's a setup to get me to dig where I shouldn't. Won't know until I get through and look. There's no way I'm not going to. "

[Layne Hoshin]

"I am the same way, always inclined to do the opposite of what I'm told to do. It makes me easier to manipulate."

She was quiet for a moment. "I really hope I'm not about to inspire exactly that kind of a reaction. My advice to you? No, my *hope* for you... and it is a selfish hope... is for you to take my offer this time. Don't pursue this mystery by going through the darkness the way I must. Go to the Jedi; let them help you. And keep digging, but dig from a new perspective, with hope for the future."

[Luth Khalan]

She shook her head. "I only do what I feel is the best idea for me and the people I care about. Whether it's in someone else's favor or against them has nothing to do with anything. You probably see that as small scale, but I don't know the rest of the galaxy. I know I want to see how Niall does as a senator, and I want him to have a fulfilling time doing his best for the Republic. I know Arali's out there somewhere improving people's lives. I know I want Hoth to be safe enough someday to be able to show my kids the aurora. I don't want any of that taken from them by a Force tick."

"It's not some grand ideal of saving every sentient in the galaxy, but it's good enough to not leave this situation be, regardless of approach. I just don't like being held back from what I need to do it. And right now, we need information."

[Layne Hoshin]

"There are many ways to gather information, and the Force brings us to those meant for us each, specifically. You don't need to rush down the path laid out for others. You can find your own way, you just need to be given the opportunity and environment to do that. Free of *him*..."

She looked at Luth with an expression that might feel... like it was pleading with her for something.

"...but...you sound as if you want to reject my offer again?"

[Luth Khalan]

"Freedom is an impossibility until one of us dies," she replied with a shake of her head. "It's not about what I do or don't want to do."

"... That isn't to say that light can't find its way into some very dark parts of the galaxy. I might talk to them. Just because I have certain confines doesn't mean every possibility is closed off."

[Layne Hoshin]

"I see," she said, "I suppose that is the most I can ask for then. Please, tomorrow, when the time is right, find your way over to my presence and we will go try and talk to them. Nothing need come of it more than that if you are not ready. It is merely a beginning. Or nothing at all. As you please."

"Naturally, do not let him or his eyes and ears know about it if you can, though I'm sure if caught you can spin it any number of ways. Intelligence gathering if you want to play the pragmatic angle. Wanting to be there for the dramatic moment I burn my bridges and revel in it, perhaps, if you want to present yourself as pursuing the full Sith experience."

[Luth Khalan]

"Understood. I'm probably not ready. I'm afraid of how they'll see me after everything. But it is a beginning."

She nodded. "Well, he did already declare you his apprentice, and I already was. It would be stranger if I wasn't there to at least observe."

[Layne Hoshin]

"A babysitter works too, yes. Or jealousy compelling you to keep a close eye for something to use against your rival apprentice. That is an especially easy excuse to give, should it prove necessary to have one."

It might not even end up being an excuse, Layne considered.

"We will arrive back at the base soon. Do you have any other questions you wish answered? Things to discuss? I do not want to keep you from them because I kept rambling on about this one topic."

[Luth Khalan]

She frowned at that. Jealousy... That was... Jealousy wasn't anything close to what she was feeling about this.

Right?

"I suppose it would. It's fine. I'm good. Let's get back, then."

[Layne Hoshin]

She nodded at that; the base would soon enough come into view again, and both women would have plenty to think upon with what hours remained in the day.

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