Hoth: Blood and Ice

[Layne Hoshin]

(Open, but preferably only after meditations resolve)

Having returned to the base, Layne found herself a quiet place where she could have as much or as little privacy as circumstances could allow. She had *much* to think on. More than she'd had in a long time.

And she wanted to do so free of any other voices that would only serve to further complicate these feelings and questions she was facing. The Jedi on base would not understand; they would try to stop her before she could fully explore things for herself, and however well-intentioned their efforts would be, it would only make this more difficult no matter the outcome.

That in mind, Layne knelt down and closed her eyes.

There is no emotion, there is peace.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.

She opened herself up to the Force; as she had done in the past at times... hoping that it might show her what to do with these thoughts, feelings, and questions.

Force Dice: 2eF 1 Light Side, 2 Dark Side

[Dapper Dog]

OOC: Are you relying on the Light or drawing on the Dark.

[Layne Hoshin]

(The Dark, as that makes the most narrative sense, and appropriately, has the most force pips)

[Darth Baras]

She heard his footsteps first, then felt his presence as she tapped into the Dark Side. His gentle but knowing chuckle as he spoke, “You could not live with your own weakness, and where did that bring you? Back to me.”

“Welcome back, Apprentice.”

[Layne Hoshin]

This... wasn't going to help. Was it?

"Not to you," she said, eyes opening. "You stopped mattering to me a long time ago."

[Darth Baras]

“You strive to be relevant; you create a network of connections in the Republic and Empire… you harbor secrets and only dole them out when they have use to you. If I did not know better, I would say that I am flattered that you strive to be me,” he said.

[Layne Hoshin]

"I am *nothing* like you," she said, "And I'm *not* trying to be."

She stood up, turning to look at him. "For one, unlike you, I know the value of a balanced diet. There should be less fried food in yours, Baras."

"But maybe you're right about some things. Weakness in people like me lets people like you keep..." she balled a fist for a brief moment as she tried to find the right word, "...festering."

[Darth Baras]

“Really, petty fat jokes? I suppose low brow, was your comfort zone,” he responded waving off the insult.

To the latter words he responded, “Then do it, Apprentice.”

[Layne Hoshin]

A hand *did* go to the darksaber, though she didn't unclip it. Not *yet* anyway.

"You goaded me like this once before. Is that what you came here to do? So you can, what... play the victim when I strike you? Use it to sow discord, justify whatever you're going to be doing to the Republic forces here anyway, the moment you think you can get away with it?"

Was this that weakness she'd been thinking about? Not doing what needed to be done? Or was it justified suspicion about his intentions instead? She *definitely* didn't want to give him the satisfaction of playing right into his hands.

[Darth Baras]

"Why are you hesitating?" he responded.

[Layne Hoshin]

"Because you're playing some kind of game," she said, "And because I'm too damn stubborn to play along. That was always your problem. Given the choice, *of course* I went to the Light, just to piss you off."

Her hand remained on the saber's hilt.

"What is it you're trying to do, Baras?"

To make her fall? To *keep* her from falling because she's just so stubborn? Or really, just setting up an excuse for her to meet with an untimely demise before she could threaten whatever he's got planned?>

[Darth Baras]

"So it's my fault you turned to the Jedi?" he responded.

[Layne Hoshin]

She had to laugh at the absurdity of this situation. What was this? Some kind of holo-drama situation? Some long running Vera Hawke redemption plotline suddenly and inexplicably aborted because they hired on new writers who wanted to go back to the edgy roots of the show?

"You thought you'd killed me, and then you immediately framed and used me as a propaganda tool. Torsin always complained that I was your favorite, but you don't *have* favorites, do you? You just have tools. Used and discarded as you need. Sometimes, someone else picks them back up."

Layne jerked a shoulders in a quick shrug. "I joined the Jedi because it was *expedient*. And because it would piss you off. And because... there was something to it. To the light. It gave me a peace I never imagined could be real. I don't know if I want to lose that. But..."

"...I don't know if that is even possible anymore. Not without letting that peace be snuffed out by the likes of you and your empire... and by things much *worse* than you."

[Darth Baras]

"And yet here you are, having a crisis of faith, Apprentice. You had such certainty when I held your reigns," he responded.

[Layne Hoshin]

"If there's one thing I *am* certain of, it's that the Sith only bring needless death and destruction," she said, "But... maybe the Jedi are wrong too. Their ways can only work in a vacuum, absent forces that would oppose peace."

Her head tipped a little lower, giving her eyes the angle to see the hilt of the broken blade steeped in the Dark Side's energies she's kept ever since Korriban.

"Fanatical dedication to the Light. Or fanatical dedication to the Dark. Either way leads only to ruin."

[Darth Baras]

"Come now, Apprentice, have I ever been a fanatic?" he replied calmly. "You project, but you do not look inward."

[Layne Hoshin]

"Oh? I remember you being *quite* upset when I mentioned toying with the Light, back on Nar Shaddaa."

[Darth Baras]

"Oh? I remember you being *quite* upset when I mentioned toying with the Light, back on Nar Shaddaa."

"Deception is a key weapon in any Sith's arsenal, you should know that by now, Apprentice," he responded.

[Layne Hoshin]

"So, you feigned being angry and shot lightning at me in order to dissuade me from going further into the Light? That worked out so well for you. No wait, don't tell me, this was all part of your plan, of course."

[Darth Baras]

At this Baras laughed deeply and long before he said, “My dear Apprentice, that’s the beauty of being me, there is no Plan. I allow my enemies to think there is. Saves me a great deal of work.”

[Layne Hoshin]

"Yes, you leave the planning to others, and then swoop in and claim the glory, I guess. Too bad the emperor didn't crush you beneath his boot before others did the work of ridding you of him."

She balled a fist again. "Must've really ruined your non-plans when he came back, right? Couldn't pretend to be his Voice anymore. What *did* you do to her, anyway? On Voss?"

[Darth Baras]

He waved it off and said, “You distract yourself. You can strike me down or you can leave. In your heart, you know what you must do, Apprentice.”

“Complete your training.”

[Layne Hoshin]

She knows what he is trying to do, of course.

But... this isn't her playing into his hands. This isn't her changing who she is. This isn't 'falling' into darkness, some watershed moment that changes everything. This isn't a moment of weakness after years of strength, nor a moment of strength after years of weakness.

This is just... necessary. To be able to face the darkness so the light might be retained. In others. And maybe even to find some sort of balance in herself... eventually. She's done it before, after all. Hasn't she?

That is the justification. The argument she uses to herself. And it's even true... at least from certain points of view. And from others? Well, nothing's ever so black and white, after all.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she lets the Force flow through her again... this time to strengthen her body, her senses... she unclips the darksaber from her belt... opens her eyes...

...and the black saber comes to life with that familiar sound.

[Darth Baras]

Darth Baras continued, "Do it, Apprentice. Fulfill your destiny."

[Layne Hoshin]

"This doesn't mean you win," she said...

...before moving to strike him.