Hoth: Blood and Ice

[Darth Bellious]

The galaxy spread before her eyes. Infinite possibilities, she had once thought. Immeasurable chances to start anew. The dream that had carried her further than she could have ever expected... back then. And now, there appeared to be a force that could render it measurable and finite, a closed system with eternity of the same feedback loops imitating novelty.

Her universe wouldn't be put in a box. Not when she still lived. There must be a way to prevent the lid from closing. Else all her sacrifice and suffering wouldn't make sense at all. If freedom was gone, all was gone, at least for her, who didn't have much else.

So she willed herself to gaze, to face what she might be already losing. After all, she was looking at ghosts of stars, many of them long dead, their light travelling through the cosmos like a cruel memento. Maybe none of them existed any more, and she wouldn't know.

She now envied those who organised their lives around simpler ideas. Love was a powerful one, ever enticing, she'd grasped it fleetingly a few times, so long ago, but all she had now was memories and broken dreams of it. Maybe those who had it could sustain themselves through the long winter as the last reason to go on. As things stood for her right now, however, it was liberty or death.

[Sylvain Torsin]

A silent figure approached from behind. He came to a short distance... not taking any measures to hide his proximity.

"None of us should wander alone..." He spoke.

"Though I may be the worst harbinger for that particular message."

[Darth Bellious]

"Or the best." She replied semi-absentmindedly. "Safety, personal, planetary, or galactic, is an illusion anyway. We are nowhere safe and never safe. And even if all the threats were gone, we would still be dangerous to ourselves." She let out a long sigh and turned to face him. "Not being alone is such an enticing yet ephemeral idea. Can we even choose that? Or is it just something that... happens."

[Sylvain Torsin]

“A bit of both I suppose…” He replied thoughtfully as he came to stand beside her and stare up at the skies.

“I am sure that life is better when it does happen though… The Force binds us together for a reason… I choose to believe it isn’t entirely random… but neither is it entirely our choices that determine the results.”

[Darth Bellious]

"If you go along a straight line through the cosmos it is so vast you may go endlessly without meeting gravitation to pull on your path and embrace you. Or you just move too fast and pass it by. But so it is when you swerve. The stars are so many, and yet too few to make a wish and see it come true."

[Sylvain Torsin]

“But they do sparkle…” He replied.

“Even the faint ones…” He watched as misty vapor came out of his mouth into the night air.

“Their light lets even primitive peoples navigate their darkest nights. We too can share of ourselves with others in the black mass of emptiness that surrounds us… If we choose to share it.”

[Darth Bellious]

"I know, Syl. I've chosen to and I've chosen not to. I've been abandoned and I've abandoned. But only the latter choices have been infallible. The former... just indelible." She looked at the vapour of his breath, hers being a smaller one, as if suppressed. "But I am not closing the book of choices."

[Sylvain Torsin]

“I don’t see any reason to close it. Pain would be the main deterrent… but pain is just another fact of life.”

He clutched his hands behind his back, hands tightening for a second, “I’ve experienced more pain recently than I thought possible… Maddening, disorienting pain… I know its convincing power.”

Another blast of mist, “But the pain is just noise…”

[Darth Bellious]

She nodded in agreement, knowing pain all to well herself. She didn't compare, perhaps his agonies had truly been greater, but the effect pain had been having on her led in the same direction.

"And noise is a raw material for music. It can have value of its own."

[Sylvain Torsin]

He nodded, “Or it can irritate sufficiently to make one flee… And there would be reason to do so.”

He paused, “I am sorry for being an ‘irritant’ so frequently.”

[Darth Bellious]

"I am not fleeing, Syl. I've got used to who you are and I've learned to accept it. Like you said, there is no reason to close the book of choices unless someone can't stand some pain, a fact of life, just noise." She looked into his eyes. "I don't know how this maddening pain has changed you. All I ever believed in is that you have the propensity to cast off what holds you back and embrace what drives you on. I saw you throw the mask away. Is it how you are feeling now, liberated?"

[Sylvain Torsin]

“To some extent. Free from the fears of failure that have riddled my mind in the past. I’ve lived so many lives of failure… If this one is real, then I should live it as myself. Not as one wrapped up in self-flagellating doubt.”

He paused, “There are still things that require my attention and care… People who take up space in my heart. But I can’t be myself if I withdraw away inside for fear of losing them.”

[Darth Bellious]

"True enough. There are things to act on for you and me if your return means you assert a position of command. I've got some actionable intel. I am planning on raising it with the brass of our entente cordiale tomorrow so that we can start preparations on turning the tables on our enemies."

Don't be afraid of losing me, her gaze and lekku added.

[Sylvain Torsin]

He turned his head slightly, “What is this intel?”

[Darth Bellious]

"First, the Gree were behind supporting the pirates with superior technology, namely the one called the Immortal. Now that they have shifted their favour to us, this Immortal is going to be in great trouble, and other pirate factions are likely to move against him, so expect a power shift in the White Maw, and with that a new strategy toward us. I tried negotiating with one Captain Syrian, but the talk went nowhere. He had incentives, and he turned them all down. I think this is the end of the soft approach. Regardless of whether they come to be in league with the Zakuul or not, we should act as though they are or they will be."

She paused.

"Hence, we should prepare a strike against the orbital jammers of our communication so reinforcements can be called upon. There's a cell of our Intelligence on the planet that is providing me with relevant data. This is what I am going to raise tomorrow."

I've tested you there, dear. Oh well.

[Sylvain Torsin]

He nodded as if not surprised by any of the information.

“If we were to fail… What does an existence in the Eternal Empire look for you?”

[Darth Bellious]

"It doesn't. I will die fighting or I will travel into the Unknown Regions in hope I can enable the same trick be played on them as they are now pulling against us, striking from beyond the veil. There are your visions, Syl, but their infallibility needs to be put to a test. It isn't over until it truly is."

She paused.

"I don't think I can infiltrate them by pretending a change of heart. My anarchistic credentials are too well-established for those who know where to look. To give in is to give up."

[Sylvain Torsin]

He nodded, “That follows much of what I have seen. Though… it does seem different now. Already the visions fade.. the vivid jagged edges are smoothed over… blurring that which was ever-present.”

He finished, “There is considerably more hope here… Light that mercifully enables memories to fade.”

[Darth Bellious]

"Light and Dark. We needn't look any further than this night sky to see how they constitute one another. Your path is yours, Syl, and my path is mine. But they do not exclude one another, nor do they lack convergence. I am glad we... have already made some difference."

She chuckled. "In fact, many will have to become like me. Empire or Republic, they have tended to cherish the stability of their institutions, habit in their ways. But if or when those are toppled by the Eternal Empire, all of them will have to build their hope on subversion, defiance, and rebellion."

[Sylvain Torsin]

He nodded, “You do thrive under these circumstances more often than not… You are rarely the first to fall.”

He looked of to the stars, “The desert flower that blooms in adversity.”

[Darth Bellious]

"What is it that whenever you tell me a compliment I feel compelled to sing in reply?" She asked melodically.

[Sylvain Torsin]

“I think the language of song has been our best form of communication in the past… That place where dark and light work together to illuminate and obscure.” He replied.

[Darth Bellious]

She cleared her throat and without ado, she intoned, looking at him throughout.

"If I saw you, I would say I'm okay
I made it through another day, at least today, then I'd say
Let's get a drink, something strong
Let's forget together what went wrong
And we'd laugh about those better days before things turned

But all this time has made it fade
And now I don't care about
All these holes that we made
'Cause a light comes through 'em now
Sometimes a light comes through 'em now

Then you'd tell me about where you been
Tales of the cosmos and being born again
And I'd feel an ease settle in
Then I'd sing a song just for you
One you love, one you know
And when I am singing I'm sorry I'd know you are too

But all this time has made it fade
And now I don't care about
All these holes that we made
'Cause a light comes through 'em now
Sometimes a light comes through 'em now

But all this time has made it fade
And now I don't care about
All these holes that we made
'Cause a light comes through 'em now
Sometimes a light comes through 'em now"

[The original song.]

[Sylvain Torsin]

"Always the perfect song... It's uncanny my dear." He said softly as he looked out into the stars.

[Darth Bellious]

"At least you know they are just for you. I have others, for moments between us that may or may not come. But I keep writing them, exploring the possible futures in my own way. If everything is so contingent, I don't want to miss that heartbeat which gives us the only chance we may have." She replied with her own softness, looking where he looked.