Hoth: Blood and Ice

Rhia couldn't help herself. If there was one more person in need, then she couldn't refrain from helping them. In this case, it wasn't putting her life in danger. It was just little things. If there was even a sliver of energy left in her, then it had to be used to uplift these people.

Even if that meant not eating for a bit. When was the last time she had some lukewarm goat meat anyways?

Aurilie had intended to charge out into the front lines with her gun blazing to be a big hero but unfortunately expectation didn't quite matche with her reality and she inevitably suffered for it. The enemy had more or less a firing squad to counter her to make her heroic attempt perhaps a bit embarassing. The war effort was about more than her and she would have to force herself to move behind it as she licked her wounds. That was easier said than done, of course. She sat huddled in a corner until she perked up at the sight of Rhia. Raising to her feet, she made her way quickly over to her. If there wasn't the concern of her injuries, she might have immediately pulled her into a hug.

"Rhia! Are you all right?" She asked with clear concern and bewilderment.

"Oh, my love, there you are," Rhia said, going in for the hug. Due to Omandri's good treatment, she looked much better, save for the light scarring on her cheek. In good time, it'd go away, but for now it proved to be a reminder of the dangers of war. "I'm... Well, I won't lie to you. I'm physically well but my mind is not. There's too much to do."

With Rhia approaching, Aurilie was more than happy to pull her into that embrace. She held her and allowed that moment of physical contact linger, certain happy that she was with her rather than having the anxiety of her well-being consume her. They were all putting themselves in danger for the side of good but she still wanted her wife back alive.

She would pull away but still held her in her arms as she looked at her and placed a hand on her cheek when she noticed the scar but shyed away from agitating it further. Aurilie mustered a tired smile and nodded in agreement. "...Of course, the battle isn't quite finished yet. You have indeed done a lot already, Rhia. Even loveable heroes need their rest for time to time, my love."

Rhia nuzzeled against her wife's shoulder and let out a contented sigh. Even when surrounded by ordeals, both internal and external, she could still find happiness. After all, she was meant to be the sun.

The streak against her face only stung slightly. "Is that true?" she asked softly. "I can only imagine Captain Alde... Niall could do this all day."

Aurilie looked a bit defeated for a few blinks before she recovered. It was one thing for Aurilie to brood over her standard but another for Rhia to do the same! "I feel that you have done a lot, Rhia. Let us not forget that Captain Alderaan's achievements are typically summarized in a serial. I imagine long campaign in our lense would be only 45 minutes to an hour, literally in this case. Come, let us sit."

With that, she started to guide her to a set of crates were used to create a bench by their tent.

"A lot is not enough though," Rhia said in a flat tone. She wasn't the type to redirect her disappointment towards her wife. Instead, it manifested as an absence of her usual vivacity.

That didn't stop her from following along to the boxes. The one she sat on possessed a sturdiness she longed for. "People died because I wasn't better. Jan almost did... Lucinia felt it." She held up her arms as if she had a fake lightsaber. "If Kat were there, then she could have deflected the bolts coming for Jan."

Aurilie found herself frowning at her words but reserved her words until they found a place to sit. The cold was likely responsible for their share of aches but that might have been a bit minor compared to this vold. She let out a small side as she placed her arm around Rhia's shoulder to give her some warmth and hopefully give her some physical reminder that her support was not too far away.

"No...I suppose it's not," she found herself reluctantly conceding to that fact. "Things might be different if Kat was there but she is not so omnipotent that she would have suceeded in your place. As we've brough up a while back, the Jedi aren't exactly infallible. I hope you won't find yourself wishing that you are a Jedi too now."

She gave Rhia a kiss on her temple as an affectionate gesture, again, very relieved to have her back.

"Not specifically a Jedi, my love. I want to... I need to be stronger." After Aurilie kissed her on the temple, she reached to cup her by the chin so they could stare eye-to-eye. "What if it was you instead of Jan? Lucinia can channel such terrible, terrible power... But part of it is sourced by her bond with Jan."

Rhia sighed. "And I'm not seeking to sell my soul, sacrifice my ideals. I just wish I could do more. For you, myself, our children, our friends.

"Everyone."

Aurilie was a bit caught off-guard by the gesture when she turned to face Rhia directly. "...I'm sure I would have done better than Director Melmoar in the field of battle," she said surely on the matter, although there was a shred of doubt on the matter that she couldn't fully commit to believing herself.

"I'm not so sure a sun could her all of her planets in perfect orbit in all of her centuries of rule." She sighed softly as her hand idly massaged her shoulder. "After you've given your best, the only thing left to give is yourself. I don't know if I'm so ready to lose any piece of you, my beloved."

"I didn't mean to bring your capabilities to question," Rhia said, adding in a cheek squeeze for good measure. "I meant that if you had been... well, injured to the same extent as Jan." She pressed her lips together and let out a sharp exhale. "There are parts of her missing now. Cybernetics can only compensate for so much."

Rhia's stance deflated. "And I don't want to lose any part of you either, hence my entire rant about Jan. Or hey, what if I had actually been the victim there instead of her?"

She held up her left arm, eyes glazing over it. "Would a shield have helped?" This had definitely been a point of conversation before. Would it display Kuat? House Alde? Never before had she been so glum discussing it. "I-I've held off since a naval officer doesn't have much use for one besides maybe morale purposes. But I don't have the same charisma as Niall. My crew might just think I'm a total joke," she said, admitting her doubts for the first time. Concealing it hadn't even been intentional. The day had stripped away at that confidence and, for once, she couldn't build it back by herself.

But she wasn't alone. She went back to Aurilie's arms. "I'm sorry that my light is a little dimmer today."

"You weren't," she said with a weary smile on the matter. "I know that our dancing career requires us to keep all of our natural parts. We have a huge stake in claiming this year's crystal cup once more. I suppose the truth is that I could have ended in the same way, better or potentially worse. In my experience as a Corellian, I know chance has a way of swinging outcomes more effectively than fate sometimes. You might have have to wish that you were extremely lucky too."

She shook her head. "Honestly, I don't know how I'd cope if you ended up less than well. I suppose vengeance seems all too natural, then followed by years of wishing how I could have done better and eventually constantly trying to right my self-inflicted wrongs with others." This might have been a ride she had been on before.

"And you're not a joke. Jokes don't become executive officers or princesses. Or a mother. Or a wife." She said as she gave Rhia a kiss on the cheek. Her other hand placed itself on Rhia's forearm and she massaged her in a soothing manner. "I'm not sure a shield of have fixed everything either. It would have to be a force field or something. That's just for you. It would have to extend to others but unfortunately it does make it hard to get things done...There aren't many answers."

She couldn't help but kiss her again. "You don't need to apologize, my dear. Despite what centuries of studies may say, suns can have their off days. If they burn so brightly all the time, they'll exhaust themselves quickly of their reserves and go supernova. I'm pleased to see you in any form. You know that my love for you is unconditional."

"Your experience as a Corellian?" Rhia asked, cracking a smile. "When did you become so silly?" Her eyes drifted to her beloved's clothes. "If I dressed you up in a Jedi robe, then should I expect you to be all serene and serious?"

Well, they had had that conversation about Jedi. To avoid being too negative, she said, "Best to not confuse the kids when it comes to Auntie Tethys."

Such humor couldn't break the pervasive glum just yet. "And like Tethys would say, I wouldn't want you to be consumed by vengeance. I didn't let myself get any more hurt than this." Rhia ran her finger over the light burn on her own face. Medical science sure did wonders... Sometimes. Their prenatal doctor had been oddly incompetent. At least Rhia wasn't the type to die of sadness.

That was because she was, apparently, not a joke. That did not stop her from contesting, at least. "All those roles have been filled by the unworthy before," Rhia said, not too forcefully. In a way, Aurilie's touch served as a shield of another sort. She certainly wouldn't use her wife to block a blaster bolt. And yet, Rhia said, "I could take at least one shot if a blaster bolt was coming for someone if I had a force field. But I would have to be there, yes."

Rhia leaned into the kiss. "I still like to say that you're a mountain, Aurilie. My mountain. Would I have said the same if you'd come from a different fief? Who's to say?"

Aurilie cracked a smile at the compliment and shrugged. "The children have seen my attempted humorous side from time to time while you were away. I have a bit of married-in Corellian in me, as you might recall, I suppose I just needed an excuse to accentuate it. As a Jedi, I could try and I might even do a vaguely passable job....but yes, that's a role I'm more than comfortable letting Tethys keeping."

She raised her brows as her wife touched her wound but there was some relief in knowing that Rhia didn't outright try to get killed. "And I'm glad that your here, sitting and talking with me so I can touch you." There was a grasp of her held hand.

"And kiss you," she said before leaning in for a soft kiss before breaking away and looking at Rhia with concern. Such actions likely weren't enough but still, she was so glad to have her here as opposed to sick bay...or worse. Still, she knew there was another sort of wound that may stay longer than the burn.

If it came down to it, Aurilie would take a blaster bolt for her at the very least. "Yes...but where would it stop? A blaster bolt? A thermal detonator? A super laser? I suppose my point was that the galaxy itself doesn't have the answers and I'm not so sure if Captain Alderaan could do the same. You're here and he's not. As the involuntary vanguard of a war with no supply line. You might even have bested him."

"In some begones folklore, they do say that the mountain kisses the sun every dawn and dusk. I don't know if I could hold myself back that much." She smirked faintly. "I admit the lowland bogs or the plains don't seem to habe the same majesty."

"Tethys is how we should all aspire to be," Rhia said. This appreciation was more nuanced than her fascination for Niall Organa. After all, it wasn't as if the Jedi ever backed her as a major propaganda machine.

The words regarding the wound stung more than the actual touch. "I hadn't been conscious of how much I wanted to return to you and the children. All of that violence... I didn't want anyone to experience what Jan and Lucinia had." Despite her worries, she fully leaned into the kiss. She blinked a few times due to the brevity. So rare was it that she found herself longing for unrelenting passion. But even as her heart surged in anticipation, she couldn't bring herself to push for more. The timing wasn't right. The surroundings weren't right.

"Where does it stop indeed?" Rhia asked. That question gnawed at her brain for so long. Nobody could ever provide for her kids more than she and her wife. But how could she ever accept herself if she did not try to help outsiders from her family? When does it stop being about myself?

Rhia nudged her beloved, the sort meant to be playful but lacking in her usual energy. "Don't say such silly things," she said, mostly in regards to besting Captain Alderaan. Such an absurd concept. "Everyday, it seems that metaphors become worse and worse in perfectly capturing life."

Sensing Rhia lead into the kiss, Aurilie certainly wasn't in a hurry to break it off sooner, allowing it to linger a moment more. There was a part of her that wondered if her wife could use a more significant distraction but that might bury the concern than assuage it. While looking at Rhia, her lips creased slightly in a frown, and she nodded slowly. "That is a bit concerning, Rhia...I do hope that you reconsider at least with the children. But I suppose that might be understandable, they are safe and I am also mostly safe. You are duty and purpose bound to push further, which is something that a joke is incapable of doing."

"Watching or knowing someone might suffer a terrible fate can be a special sort of inner hell, sometimes." She said as she idly massaged her hand. "Hardly silly when it's how I feel about you and your great accomplishments, Rhia. You're free to feel otherwise but little will change my opinion."

Rhia gazed back at her wife, a twinkle of a year in her eye. "I'm sorry that I've failed to be more mindful. It wasn't as if I forgot completely. I just couldn't let it cloud my reactions." Even then, she hadn't been able to save everyone. "But you seem to understand. As long as I'm able, I must help. I never intend on it risking what we have, though."

If only she knew.

"You are silly," Rhia said, massaging the hand back. "That's why the kids know they can act up when it's just you." She gave her signature wink, this time so much more playful and exaggerated. "How's that for an opinion?"

Aurilie smiled softly back at Rhia's apology. "I just felt obligated to express some hope that we are still in your thoughts somewhere but I will survive and endure. I suppose I will be also representing the children here too. A part of me thinks that this communication restriction might be for the better, considering that it would put our children on a roller coaster of sorts knowing what we've been up to here. However, I'm sure the servants and sitters can only keep up so many excuses until anxiety might start to sink in. But ultimately, we have come to understand you as also a career professional, and you must do what you can to serve. When you were out there serving, there are others waiting for you. missing you, and cheering you on," she said before planting another kiss on her cheek.

"I suppose this whole campaign has been an extension of that," she said with a sadder smile and a shrug of her shoulder.

She found herself narrowing her eyes on Rhia, wanting to either admonish her or feel a bit hurt. "While I am more than happy to entertain the children I'm caring for them on my lonesome, especially when their laughter does bring me a lot of joy...I'm quite sure that I'm not exactly aiming to be silly when it comes to your achievements, dear Rhia. I'll acknowledge there is certainly room to grow in your career and I know there are many reservations still present but I suppose I just wanted to convey that you've done much to make me proud. The children are pleased too. I understand that our biases might cloud our judgement in this...but you can't deny feelings, my love."

"You and the children are always in my thoughts," Rhia said softly. "It is for that reason that I'm inspired to protect people. How would it reflect on me if I only acted for us?" She positioned her cheek as the perfect landing bay for the kiss. Such was the thought process of a military gal who loved metaphors, apparently. "So I hope the children will learn to understand the responsibility that our comfort cannot come at the expense of others." And though she often worried about Carlotta, she never could have predicted the woman she would turn out to be.

Rhia sighed. "I'm not being particularly tactful. My mother wouldn't be pleased to see me like this." She stood up straight, perfect due to their similar heights, and locked eyes with her wife. "Although a lady must be humble, that does not include disregarding all compliments. Such is especially true when the praise comes from the love of her life."

A short giggle escaped her. "Your unabashed pride in me lends much to your charm, you know? One might expect someone so reserved to not be so forthcoming." She leaned forward, intending to place forehead to forehead. "So I must say again that you are my mountain, the solidity I need for when doubts overcome my composure. It's a sad thing that you are one of the few privy to such worries, though it would be worse to hide anything from you."

"I suppose the keyword of what I had been feeling was concern that could have momentarily lapsed from your thoughts but I've never doubted that we ever left completely. As biological species, we are allowed to be a little selfish from time to time." She said with a small smile after the kiss. "Our wonderful and lovely children could never turn out to be so inconsiderate and ignorant when they've found themselves surrounded by such great role models."

"This includes a certain exemplar in the Republic, to be fully clear and in case you're wondering," she said before giving Rhia a Rhia-styled wink as they looked eye to eye. After that moment of silliness faded, a longing gleam was evident in her eyes. She was happy that they were sharing this moment together. The day was long and full of trials, but unfortunately, they were bound for a few moments to continue to test themselves until they finally found peace.

Her smile returned, albeit a bit tired. "I am glad that I've been able to convince you, even if just for a moment. Admittedly, you do make it all too easy for me to extoll your greatness and it's not something I think I'll ever tire of. The wonders of a glorious sunrise would do to anyone, truly. There is no reason for me to be so reserved about my praises when she brightens me beyond all measure. Mountains are also known for their wonderous stature that is able to shoulder all burdens. Not an exact science but I feel that to be too true to prove otherwise."

Her gaze would look to the one across from her before she tilted her head slightly to kiss her wife.

Rhia winced at the mention of selfishness. "If we could all be selfish and not harm others, then perhaps the galaxy would be a paradise. Every need, every want, every desire." She waved her hand above her, as if feeling the living Force like a Jedi would. Perhaps Tethys would find it completely inaccurate. "But to take without care is the corruption our friends fight against, isn't it?"

She smirked at her beloved's display. As alluring as the distant persona she had once fallen for was, she more enjoyed the playfulness of her wife that had bloomed to what it was today. "What I fight against. What we fight against." Her demeanor waned, a tinge of sadness in her eyes. "One of us can't fight, though. Preferably neither, actually, on the front lines. Perhaps that is too little but I want our children to have the best future possible. There's that selfishness..."

To continue admonishing herself would distract from her point. "I'm going to shift my assignment once we're off this planet. I need you to stay with the kids, keep them safe, warm, happy. I'll come home whenever I can but a war will mean I must go on active duty."

So it came both easily and painfully to lean in for a kiss. "I ask too much of you. But such is the faith you've placed in me." She smiled, the warmest it had been all evening. "Sometimes I need to share this sunshine with the rest of the galaxy, you know? Do some inspiring heroics?"

Aurilie frowned faintly and let out a sigh. "Again, I meant to say some measure of selfishness from time to time. Everything with a bit of moderation, albeit this is an allocation that needs to be more conservative than anything else, lest we start imagining such grandeur that we're the main characters of the galaxy. That would be a most concerning affliction. That selfishness includes care and well-being of yourself, which I know might be a bit strange coming from someone like me. Still, I hope you'll take my words into advisement, Lieutenant Cynella Alde."

"This conflict hasn't been fair nor kind, I admit. As is right now, it is consuming our time and commitment but we cannot guarantee a future for our children if we don't at least involve ourselves in some part. I imagine that it may find itself even on our doorsteps even if we hope otherwise." She said as she held Rhia, pulling her into a hug. "I know that you have a part to play in this, and I will do mine at home. I find myself wanting to join you, truly...but I suppose our children have already endured much now with both of our absences. I also imagine that someone needs to ensure that order is maintained between the Houses so that we can ensure continued support and a steady supply line for the conflict."

Aurilie gave her a weary smile. "It's not so much you need to ask when I'm more than happy to offer my stability wherever possible. Our values and our beliefs, the future we want for our children, are all far greater than having you in my arms. You wouldn't be compared to the great sun if your radiance wasn't all-encompassing. Your greatness will be appreciated by all."

"I do worry about my well-being," Rhia said, cheeks flushing a bit. "Just as I monitor your health and the children's, so too must I do so for myself." She pursed her lips. "And as Lieutenant, the enlisted beneath me are also my responsibility in this."

Rhia held her wife tight as if grasping for some warmth. Well, they were still stuck on a frozen wasteland. "You may have to maintain my contacts on Kuat while I am deployed. I'm hoping that I'll be able to avoid most of the fighting if I keep to escorting refugees." There were going to be so many peoples displaced by the oncoming war. That it would include people on Alderaan too wasn't something she anticipated.

"I must ask because I do not wish to overextend your patience and your faith in me," she said lightly. "But speaking of our values, I must admit that there's some small part of me that wishes we could stay here. Well, not here, it's dreadfully uncomfortable, but separated from the galaxy at large, along with our children." She laughed at her own ideal. "Ser Keyhote could visit. All of our Alderaanian friends, the Kuati too. Maybe Tethys from time to time..."

"I hope that they too appreciate and honour your command as much as our children," she said before giving a small shrug of her shoulder, quickly addressing that nagging concern she might have for a certain someone. "Well, Carlotta will eventually come to the same conclusion eventually, even if there is some evidence to the contrary. I'm sure she does, just has a slightly different way of showing it."

Aurilie was more than happy to share some of that warmth with Rhia. After their venture into the field of battle, the affectionate tough was highly appreciated. Their situation couldn't be entirely made of hardships and tribulations, they were deserving of reprieve in any form they might find. Especially, her dearest wife after she endured a battleground of doubt. "You do what you must for the Republic and I'm sure I can handle keeping in touch with Kuat. It was probably about time I put the art of the deal and cultural lessons you've shared with me into use, too. I'm pretty confident that your flair has rubbed off on me."

"The mountains are capable of much patience," she said cooly on the matter with a hint of a smirk on the corner of her lips. Her eyes seemed to look at her with some amusement at her idea, perhaps in the same way when she was presented with a silly story by her children. However, such a want didn't come from a silly place. That she knew, at least. She brought her close again in the hug, providing her with some warmth. "Even more removed than Mount Joral? I suppose as secluded as we might be, we aren't truly secluded. It's a bit much to ask, we can't exactly up and disappear with all of our obligations and everything going on right now. But...yes, it would be nice to have our children with us and the occasional visits, away from all of this. I feel this is perhaps a place found in the past than the present, unfortunately. I'm not so sure if such a thing is possible as I would indeed try my best to grant you that wish."

"Sometimes it's as if Carlotta was assigned a mission to test my diligence as a mother," Rhia said. Most of her laughter was genuine. However, a tiny part of her almost wanted to believe that and was therefore a little jilted.

In a way, perhaps their earnest display of affection could inspire others to appreciate the good that remained in the galaxy. Even after such hardship, they could still find joy. "Just be sure to never trust the first deal from a Kuati noble," she said as she had often before. "It's not a real offer... It benefits them too much." Haggling was a planetary pastime, apparently.

"Oh if we did seclude ourselves, then think of the rumors people would have! We can't allow the courts become so gossipy, especially when Ashley would have to shoulder that burden." Rhia squeezed her beloved a couple times within the hug. "It's nice to dream, though, isn't it? Gives us something to fight for."