Hoth: Blood and Ice

Business had been slow the last few days. Some were weary of getting their morning beverages from someone from the Turtle, the ship and crew that accepted a former enemy on board.

This made Pipka sad... that they were missing out on delicious drinks and pastries. He had even changed his policy, no longer requiring a hug to receive a mug, but he was still plenty willing to accept a hug as a tip.

A dark lord of the Sith entered and said, “Is this the mess hall facility, I require sustenance and our ship is running low on organic vental bean milk.”

“Also is this establishment, vegan friendly?”

Pipka saw him enter, the one he had been watching around the base, too shy to approach, the man, the myth, the legend.

Vental? Vegan? He didn't know what these words meant. But they did feed left over beans to the goats.

In an overly loud and mechanical voice, Pipka responds, "Welcome Mister Darth Irrej Sir, Welcome to Hoth Chocolate. We provide caf and Hoth Chocolate, made with fresh goats' milk. If you want it extra creamy, Petunia here," he waves his hand behind him to the right, although Petunia is laying down on his left, "will be happy to provide you with an extra pump, fresh squeezed, not pulled. We also have a selection of goat cheese based pastries available."

"Disgusting, as I said I am looking for non-dairy options," he responded. "No offense to your beloved goat, but I have a very specific diet I try to maintain."

... Disgusting? That snapped Pipka out of his prepared and frequently rehearsed interaction.

How could he call goats' milk, the source of nutrition and hydration he and his tribe worked so hard to provide for everyone, disgusting?

"Sir, I do not believe you fully comprehend the phrase 'no offense'. You can not characterize a thing as disgusting and then vacillate and declare, 'no offense'. That is the actions of a duplicitous scalawag.

So, either do find these products disgusting, in which case you are welcome to leave and find service elsewhere. Or, you can affably abstain from consumption of these fine goat milk products, which my ladies have endeavored, rather thanklessly as of late, so diligently to provide, proffer an earnest apologize to Petunia, and I will commit myself to providing the paramount of service I strive to cultivate with every customer and procure your... Organic. Vental. Bean milk."

“I am a dark Lord of the Sith, I have no desire to mince words, it is disgusting and if you wish for me to purchase something from this establishment then you will proffer organic non-dairy milk with my hoth chocolate, lest I be forced to give this establishment a poor rating whence I return to civilization proper,” he responded.

"You are welcome to your opinion, at least you were able to be honest with yourself and with me.

As I said before, if you insist on calling the product of my girls' hard work disgusting, you can fulfill your needs elsewhere. I say what I mean and mean what I say, regardless of the consequences, so give your poor rating to whoever wants to hear it.

That being said, I am a huge fan of your work and can't wait for your next book to come out. Good day."

"You must have me confused for some other handsome but misunderstood writer," he replied quizzically.

Pipka was relieved. He hadn't seen this Darth Irrej without his mask and was still relying on Lord Remmington's assertion that he was Jerri Organa. His opinion of Jerri's work wouldn't change from the man's personality. But, while this was this and that was that, he would prefer for Jerri to be a bit more... magnanimous.

Was it a prank or an honest misunderstanding from Lord Remmington? If it was a prank, Pipka was fully ready to let the games begin.

"My apologies sir, my friend had told me that you were the Jerri Organa. I had taken him for his word, but if you are not Jerri, he must have been mistaken, or possibly playing a prank on me since we both share a great love for Jerri's works.

But you said some other handsome but misunderstood writer. If you write as well, I would love to read your work. It may not compare to Jerri Organa's, but I am a lover of the arts."

"I merely dabble, who is this rapscallion who so names me as someone I am certainly not, perhaps they deserve a serious and thorough drubbing for such lies and slander," he asked.

"Oh, don't be shy. If it makes you feel better, I've been writing a little bit myself lately. There's not a lot to do here at night while everyone else is sleeping. I can share what I've written and you can share what you've written.

I will handle the person who told me you were Jerri Organa. I have a feeling he didn't intend any harm for you... Although personally, I would be flattered to be likened to Jerri rather than slandered. He just wanted to get my goat so to speak."

"You find this Jerri Organa to be something of a figure of admiration, chadra-fan?" he responded.

"Oh absolutely. I pretty much learned everything I know about the galaxy from him. I was slave from the time I was a young pup until about three years ago. When I was freed, I found his stories and starting watching and reading everything I could. I learned what the Jedi and the Sith were about, I learned how to woo a woman, I learned about mystery, intrigue, seduction, and suspense, all these things that I had never experienced before. It opened a whole new world to me."

"Well, he would be elated to hear such praise," the Sith responded. "You say you have written yourself, what illustrious words and phrases has your metaphorical quill put to verse?"

"Do you really think so? I like to imagine he would care what a little Chadra-Fan like me got out of his work, but he must have trillions of fans across the worlds and I have such a little voice." Pipka looks wistfully to the ceiling, imaging all the worlds beyond the Hoth skies and all the people reading and watching, finding comfort in these troubling times like he so frequently does.

"My writing is nothing compared to Jerri's. I've taken this opportunity to find my own inspiration and write a little romance story. I will readily admit that I am heavily influenced by my surroundings. I can send it to you, I've been saving it on a private folder on the local server so no one from my ship finds it. I call it, 'Beauty and the Darth'. I like to think I at least found a catchy title for it."

"Catchy indeed," he replied. "If I find the time I may peruse this manuscript. Now my no-dairy hot chocolate?"

Pipka squints his eyes at the Darth for a moment, "Well, you're a pretty fun guy to talk to, and I can't fault you for standing your ground. Let me see what I can put together." He will then go into the back to check with Sgt. Dereegs if they had an 'organic vental bean milk' or something similar for a non-dairy hoth chocolate.

"They have something that fits the bill for non-dairy and milk.

A few moments later, Pipka returns with a mug of Vegan Hoth Chocolate, "Here we are sir, your non-dairy Hoth Chocolate. I will keep some of that goat milk substitute on hand, so feel free to stop by for more Hoth Chocolate or a caf.

And hey, if you're interested, there's 'not' an auction going on in the barracks this evening that 'definitely isn't' centered on Vera Hawke memorabilia and you should 'not' stop by." Pipka adds with appropriate finger quotes after handing over the mug.

"Thank you," he sipped and smiled, "Excellent."

He departed.

Pipka went back to work, picking up a mug and a clean rag to polish it with.

Remmington stops by to grab a mug of Hoth Cocao to start his day. He greets the Chandra-Fan with a hug. "Hey Pipka. Do you still have any more Hoth chocolate?"

Pipka sets aside his polishing rag and mug to give Lord Remmington his hug, "Plenty left, especially for my best regular." Pipka pulls out an extra large mug that looks like it was handmade with 'Lord Remmington' written in the glaze.

"I had a rather interesting customer this morning. That Darth Irrej stopped by for a drink. Crazy thing though, he isn't Jerri Organa." Pipka accompanies this news with a skeptical look to Remmington.

Remmington accepts the mug and takes a sip. "That certainly sounds like Jerri." He nods.

"He always loved the theatrics. He certainly is an entertaining Darth." He smiles. "Really nice change of pace from all the brooding and anger ones we usually have."

He admires the mug for a moment when he notices his name literally on it. "When did you make this?"

Pipka ponders this for a moment. It did seem very dramatic to hide one's identity, especially while wearing a cool mask. He certainly had the style one would expect of a noble, adventurer, lady's man like Jerri Organa... But he called goats' milk disgusting, he didn't appreciate all their hard work. Although, he had heard that great creators like Jerri tended to have eccentricities.

"Oh, I had some time to slip away with Gibzy Wizy Tik and do some crafts back at his village. I'm glad you like it."

Pipka is silent for a moment again, "It is good that he isn't angry or brooding, but he did call my goats' milk disgusting. We did get to talk a bit... Wait... I told him about my story, he's going to read my story, I've sent my story to Jerri Organa... I'm not ready for this."

[OOC] Just realized I marked this as D6 by accident. It is in fact D7.