Hoth: Blood and Ice

[Omandri Rist]

It had been a day, long dead sisters, pirates, explosions, and a good amount of just good ol fashioned hard work. Omandri had napped a little here and there but he was dog tired regardless he still had something that needed done.

He boarded the Rimma looking for its owner but she was no where to be found. He figured she would have to come back eventually so he sat in the main area and waited.

[Riss]

Long days had a way of sticking to you, and despite her expectation near the start of the day she found herself on a slightly lighter step through the rest of this one. Still, the travel through Hoth's cold environment would weather anyone down and she was properly weathered. Tired steps made their way up the ramp to the Rimma, lazy arms opened doors and discarded personal items haphazardly, and when she came into the common area she wasn't even looking until she was halfway into the space already. Stopping in her step momentarily upon catching sight of Omandri. Rise to her shoulders, a heavy breath.

"You're up late," she says casually as she continues to remove her jacket. At least the Rimma was a good temperature so long as they stuck to the base. At least she had that.

[Omandri Rist]

Omandri watched as she entered casually drinking from a cup when she turned to him. He'd availed himself of his finer clothing since returning to the base after getting the medbay back online. His coat was draped over a chair and he sat there in hos Vest and shirt also enjoying the Rimma's temperate nature.

"And you're out late." He returned with a arched eyebrow setting the cup down and leaning forward elbows on knees as his fingers laced in front "productive meeting?" He asked looking up at her from his seated position.

[Riss]

"You know," she starts, but only chuckles tiredly as she crosses the room toward a pitcher that was set back up on one of the countertops within this communal space. "I've had this exact conversation with my father a thousand times, so- I don't really wanna do that whole thing again." Though the Rimma had gotten a good shake up she'd received enough of a touch up following the crash and at least had the provided items to regain some sense of class within. Pouring herself a cup of water, and then one for Omandri.

"What's up, Omandri?" she asks, delivering him a cup.

[Omandri Rist]

Omandri chuckled a little "difference being I'm not your dad, and not trying to be. Was genuinely curious how your night was." He took the cup with a nod of thanks.

He paused looking into the liquid "I don't know, I just....didn't like where we left things. Worried about you. A lot of stuff I guess." He said looking to her by the end taking a drink as he sat back.

[Riss]

"Well, I'm fine," she says, and step away toward a nearby armchair. Sliding down into it, but having to shift as she finds a little tear in the side of one of the cushions. Downside of all this fancy stuff was that some of it could tear cloth in a crash, who knew. Rolling her eyes at the discovery she settles in with a mind to ignore it.

"I- I don't know what to say Omandri. I'm getting busy with some work that I got my hands on, and I'm looking forward to it. While everyone else plays their part I think this is one I'm uniquely capable of. Countess Riss Lanar, for a little bit of time, is just Riss again and I'm.." she seals her lips. Breaking them only to take a drink from her own cup.

"Nothing to worry about," she tacks on with a heaviness hidden behind.

[Omandri Rist]

He gave her a skeptical look "Sounds more like nothing you want me to worry about." He said taking a drink and setting the cup down.

"Is everything ok? Really? Not even about stuff from last night. There's been something, off?" He said not sure if it was the right word "just feels like there's something there you're not talking about. Not all the time, just glimpses sometimes." He said giving her a look touched with concern

[Riss]

Riss scoffs, and leans back away but- something clicks. Having talked somewhat about it with Vaylin earlier in the day, a stranger, well it just made things come out a bit easier once they were kinda already voiced didn't it? Running a hand over her face she sighs. Leaning forward onto her knees Riss takes two hard positions with her feet on the ground, steady. Elbows resting just behind the knee when she leans forward.

"Everything hasn't been okay for a long time Omandri, and the-" she shakes her head, mouth agape she wipes a thumb over her lip. "Everyone's seen it, but no one wants to admit it? I'm not a good person. I have never been. I've tried to do the good thing for so long, to make up for the bad stuff I have done in my life but it's really apparent that none of that matters. Bryson Rist was a good man, but he did bad things for good reasons. We spent a rather harrowing bit of time finding out just how true that was. Kat, the Jedi, she was convinced of how awful of a person he was- and seemed rather hell bent on making him pay for his crimes, to answer for them. All the while calling me her friend, ya know? That's," Riss laughs," that's actually funny you know cause he might have done bad things for good reasons but I spent years of my life doing bad things to people cause it was fun. People died because of my actions when I was younger, maybe I didn't pull the trigger but I certainly didn't help- I enjoyed the fast and crazy life style so kriffing much. Hardly being sober longer than a day, and ripping off folk that had the misfortune of crossing me," she breathes in deep to suck up enough air to finish. "If Bryson wasn't worth redemption," she puts a finger to her chest, "then I'm not worth redemption, and why should I convince myself otherwise?"

Riss comes to a stand, pushing off her chair to take a couple steps to calm herself a little, "Your sister is responsible for the death of a good man who has kids that miss him," her voice quavers, "and they're really good kids Omandri. But that's not all she did, she showed me where I stand and-" she lays out her arms to her side, as if putting herself on display. "Kat would probably bring me in herself if there were enough people still left around to point the finger at me, eh?" she chuckles, but there's a darkness to that.

[Omandri Rist]

Omandri's eyes widened a bit as she continued but he never interrupted he nodded along, he had known there was something there but this was a bit bigger than he had thought but he saw what she was talking about.

He frowned as she spoke a little hurt in his eyes not against Riss but for her. "We all tend to gloss over the crimes of our friends and family. Kat didn't know Bryson, she couldn't see things from his perspective. All she knew is he was working for bad people, that was her whole view of him."

"But she knows you Riss as do I, we know you have a flawed past but we also know you have a good heart. You care about people, you have a giving spirit. You give and give and you try not to burden others with your problems. Bryson was a good man despite things that he did, I believe there was redemption for him, just like there is for you, just like there can be for almost anyone."

He sighed standing slower "None of us are perfect Riss, force knows I'm not, why do you think I throw myself into the work I do? Why I spring to help people no matter who they are? I have my own wrongs to atone for, blood on my hands. I've killed people, people with families probably, people with hopes and dreams, am I irredeemable?' He said turning his palms up and spreading his hands open in front of him.

"We can't change what we've done Riss, the past is set in stone, but we can try and be better, try and do better. That's all we can do."

[Riss]

Holding up a singular finger, "One: I don't think you know Kat nearly as well as I do," another finger, "Two: You would probably forgive me for anything," she says, and holds herself up with that heavy breath following with a sigh. Bringing her hand down with the exhale to help keep herself as calm as possible. "You can't bring yourself down to my level to make me feel better, Omandri. You're better than I am, and you always have been. You might have been a good person who did bad things but-" she shakes her head, "I know myself better than that. I certainly know myself better than you do."

[Omandri Rist]

"Do you?" He asked simply stepping closer to her "we all like to think we know ourselves but we can be just as blind to our goodness as we can our faults."

"You said yourself you're trying to make up for your past. You recognize some of the things you did are wrong, you think about the consequences, you feel bad about them. Bad people don't do that Riss." He took a breath

"I see you Riss, I know you're not some glorified soul who always does the right thing. I see your tendency to hide from your emotions, to run away to the refuge of indulgence. You learned a lot of bad habits, you're scared to really feel everything and you don't think you deserve good things."

He looked down to his hands eyes searching, for something, answers, words, hard to say but he looked back up looking to her eyes "But I think you can do so much good and it's not Kat or me or anyone else that has to forgive you. You have to forgive yourself Riss. You have to let go of who you were and the things you did. Not forget them, don't forget how you got here but stop letting it define who you are."

[Riss]

There was silence.

Riss barely moved the whole time he spoke but when he finished that stillness invites the silence which followed, clearing the room as it were. Inhaling deeply Riss' unsteady breathing becomes more apparent, the welling of eyes but she hardens and the tears stop coming.

Behind quivering lip, hand balled into a fist, "Good people don't want to kill the sisters of people they care about as badly as I do," she says, with a weight that seems even still impossible to have spoken it.

[Omandri Rist]

Omandri's lips pressed into a line for a moment he stood there with her in the silence for a few moments "it's.....a difficult situation. For the both of us."

"I understand why you feel the way the way you do. I won't say I know what it feels like but I understand it." He stopped gathered his thoughts a bit. His voice was slow, like he was putting the words together as he was saying them "and I think you understand some of what I feel. I think that's at least part of why you got so mad yesterday, because you could see how hard this situation was."

He too often just reached out and touched her, it was his way of connection during hard times, but now wasn't about just him. He reached a hand out to her slightly, palm up, open, an invitation "A bad person wouldn't feel this conflicted Riss. A bad person would have tracked her down and done it and wouldn't give a kriff what it does to someone else." If she had taken his hand there would be a gentle squeeze "You've already grown so much from that girl you were even if you can't see it."

[Riss]

Rare as it was, upon noticing his extended hand Riss pulls her own back. Holding it against her chest with some level of importance, a moment where her eyes cast down and she could feel it. Feel the weight of what that meant for herself here and now. Something she already knew.

"You're wrong, Omandri. You still think I'm better than I am, and- maybe, maybe I have grown, yea. I can see that. Just.." she looks off to a corner, hand falling to her blaster at her belt. "If she were here right now, in front of both os if right now? I'd still do it. Despite how much I know it would hurt you," she turns her head away fully at that, because it was the truth.

[Omandri Rist]

He studied her for a moment the hand returning unoffended to his pocket "Maybe I think too highly of you, but I'm certain you are too hard on yourself." He retorted "I understand why you think the way you do about her. I would say I wonder if you would actually do it but talking about that hypothetical is largely useless right now."

"This is a big thing Riss and I'll always be there to help you but part of this journey is one only for you. You're flawed, you can be selfish and reckless and too Indulgent for your own good." Both hands were in his pockets as he looked at her "but there's a lot of good in you too Riss. I can tell you that until this base freezes back over but at the end of the day I can only show you, I can't force you to listen." He shrugged his shoulders "I'll always be there though no matter how you try to push me away, because I see that good in you."

[Riss]

Riss' finger rose, pointing at Omandri with some intent toward a rebuttal- but there wasn't any. What was there left to even say? That he was good enough to see the good in her? Sure, but that didn't erase what she'd done and gotten away with. What she was going to continue to get away with, and all the other things she'll let herself slide on cause it makes life easier. Those were.. she could be better, maybe- but she wasn't actually that good.

Maybe that's why she lashes out the way she does sometimes, "Where's your sister Omandri?" she asks, her voice cold as ice.

[Omandri Rist]

Omandri sighed hands in his pockets looking down to the ground "Why? So you can do something to get yourself hurt or killed? You know better than to think I would be party to that."

He took a breath looking up to the ceiling his shoulders falling a bit "I told you because I trusted you. Maybe I kriffed up." He looked back to her "I was hoping to get your help to bring her in but I plan on doing that in binders not in a body bag."

[Riss]

Searching him, following his eyes and watching his hands. How he almost fell away at the prospect, a part of her delighted in being right- and so she smiled, but it was such an angry looking smile as the heat flares up, "You found her. You know exactly where she is, and here you are talking to me? Talking to me because.." she huffs, shoulders rising Riss steps forward.

"Right, cause that's what's more important, huh?? You could have done something already, but you didn't and now you're here," Riss takes half a step forward but stops. Lowering her shoulders with some intention she looks from him, and then just beyond him, "Maybe stop trying to fix me and figure yourself out first," she says. Huffing out a exhale she steps away from him, walking toward her room, speaking with that stern authority:

"Good night, Omandri."

[Omandri Rist]

He shook his head almost a little confused "Sorry I already got shot today and didn't want to run out to another encounter. Maybe because I wanted a plan, some help. Not all of us want to run half cocked into things." He snapped back a little heat rising in his own voice.

"Maybe I hoped you'd look past your own shit for two kriffing seconds and think about the people around you that you claim to call friend." He turned himself and grabbed his jacket

He stopped at the door "I never tried to fix you Riss, I just actually expected something from you." His voice quieter before he moved down the ramp.

[Riss]

Stopping halfway toward her room with the close of the door she waits, and then stares up at the ceiling for a long moment. Sucking in a deep breath she turns about and walks back into the central room, over across the way and toward the bar. Pulling down one of the surviving bottles she looks it over, it was a pretty decent vintage and totally not what she would have normally used for what she needed right now. Tapping her thumb on it a couple times while she thought, "Your mistake, I guess," she says to herself in the quiet of the ship. Taking the bottle she uncorks it with her teeth on the way back to her room, letting the door come to a close behind her.

/scene, thankkksss