Hoth: Blood and Ice

(Putting it in EA, but can maybe still switch it around if people have need. The Jedi who want to be here would've gotten a message from Layne, to meet on Baesal's ship)

A wide range of differents emotions rolled around inside her, like giant waves crashing into each other and dispersing into each other's wake. Before long, she couldn't fully distinguish them from one another anymore. Still, she could discern the outlines of some. There was undoubtedly a certain satisfaction that might soon be found in airing out some of the doubts and frustrations that the Jedi's ways had caused her to have, and which in no small way led her to this point. But any such satisfaction would likely only be a temporary high, replaced by a sense of loss once it'd fade.

She did not come alone to Baesal's ship. There should be another there beside; Luth Khalan. Her presence might represent the one good thing that may yet come out of this moment. A faint hope of fixing a past mistake, correcting one of her many failures she's accumulated over the years. Though Layne had begun preparing herself for the possibility that the only thing it would accomplish would be for the woman to serve as a witness to yet another failure.

But that felt like a lesser concern to the main point of why she had send out that invitation and made her way over here. She had to speak to them, and had to give them a chance to speak back. Painful as it would be. No. She did not look forward to doing what she had to do now. She didn't want to have to say these sorts of things to them. And yes, despite all she was about to say to them; all of it having to be true because she was not a great liar; she absolutely still wanted them to try and save her.

Even if she didn't deserve it.

But they couldn't be allowed to, could they? It would ruin everything. And so she had to be harsh. And she hoped so very much that it was true; that she was doing what she *had* to do. That it was a noble sacrifice she was making for the sake of others.

Instead of it simply being because after all these years... she was still just a child of the Sith.

With that last question in her mind, she stepped up to the ship's entry point, making their presence known.

With a soft crystalline hum the iris door opened and the way inside the ship. From the corridors a familiar voice said: ''The common room is almost ready. Just go straight pass the cargo then follow the corridor on the right.''

The ship's interior was odd to be sure: it looked like the interior of a living hive except that the chitin, sinew and wax were replaced by chromed metals, white polymers and blueish silvery crystals.

And the Force reverberated in it's corridors like an echo

Thy was not a fan of big dramatic throw downs, but her role demanded her presence.

Luth followed along behind Layne, her helmet stowed at her side, face visible for once. For the first part of this, she would need to actually look and feel like a person. Because this involved facing a fear that had hed her up for a not-insignificant part of her life. For most of it, though, she would have to wear it.

Hadn't she and Tethys talked about how a Jedi meeting like this might give the wrong idea to the Imperials and cause division?

Well, it was too early in the day for headaches, so against her better judgement she showed up to this meeting to see what it was all about. "Good afternoon," she nodded to the others, stopping for a moment as she saw an unknown face before recognizing the Sith from the first day that had helped looking for survivors. Kat gave Luth a smile of acknowledgement.

She had nodded to Baesal and now smiled at Katarzyna, also with a nod. Not much chance to talk since their patrol, but it would be interesting to see her thoughts.

They made their way inside, to that common room, and observed those present. Others might've been there as well, all along. Or perhaps they were still to come. Her eyes looked around for Daz; though she would understand if he of all people wasn't here. And if he was... well, she would acknowledge that fact, and quickly keep her eyes from lingering on him.

"I see some of you still care to hear what I have to say, at least," she said.

"Before we talk of anything else, and I have *much* to say... we must first talk about my guest. I am sure you know who she is, and if you don't, then let me introduce Luth Khalan, apprentice to Darth Baras. You will distrust her because of this, and you will distrust her further because it is I who brought her along. I can't speak for her on this, but I think it's only natural that you would. She appealed to the Jedi before once, when her sensitivity to the Force first manifested. She appealed to Master Thun specifically, who did not trust her. And because of that, she was turned away. And because she was turned away, she went from being an assassin, to being a Sith."

"It was during that same time that I made my own appeal to join the Jedi. An assassin who was already a Sith. She was sent away, but I was taken in. Hardly seems fair now, but Master Thun had the ability to be a ruthless pragmatic when called to be. An ability she no doubt hid well from the rest of the Order. I only know about it because... well... I agreed with the sentiment and had the experience necessary to help sharpen that pragmatism into a knife. I think I still agree with the sentiment, just not all of the execution."

Her hand waved those words away before they could linger.

"But we'll get to that later. We're talking about Luth now. She was denied what I was given because Thun could not see where it would lead. And I, not knowing any of this, offered to give Luth that same thing once too. But we were both unable to see that through then, for our own reasons. And now we are here. And I am asking you to help her. Even though she is far more hesitant to ask for or receive that help than she once was. Even though you have even less reason to trust her than master Thun did."

There. That was what she needed to say *first*, before anything else.

She shook her head. "It's nothing that dramatic. It's not like I can cut ties to begin with." A deliberate turn of phrase. "I just wanted to ask a question: How far is so far into the darkness that the light is a closed path?"

Thy said, “I can’t speak for the late Grandmaster, she acted as she saw best in that moment, but I do know that it was not Resmi alone that accepted you, there was also Master Nomen Karr who vouched for your admission. I am not sure on the purpose of this history lesson but that isn’t my concern.”

“All I need to know is why you think this destructive path is going to help anyone? You have always tried to do things on your own, sometimes I supported it, sometimes not, but this is one of those times where I feel you are carrying burdens that are pushing you to act like an idiot, frankly.”

“Daz has been loyal to you, admirable if misguided. I would be saddened to see his faith in you misplaced.”

Luth Khalan wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 18, 2022 9:40 am

She shook her head. "It's nothing that dramatic. It's not like I can cut ties to begin with." A deliberate turn of phrase. "I just wanted to ask a question: How far is so far into the darkness that the light is a closed path?"

“That depends on the person, and their earnestness but the Jedi’s path is not for everyone. Maybe she saw you walking another path, I can’t know, but I doubt seriously she meant to throw you to the predators.”

"It's hard to say. But hence why my question isn't related to your organization, no offense intended. Just the Force and one's... internal landscape, if you will."

"Anyway... interesting."

Thy Yulani wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 18, 2022 7:31 am

Thy was not a fan of big dramatic throw downs, but her role demanded her presence.

Tethys has similar reservations, but, like Thy, she's there.

At least the ship seems reasonably bug-free. And Luth's presence, while unexpected, does obviate her worry that the Imperials will see this gathering as some sort of nefarious Jedi conspiracy meeting.

Tethys listens. At Layne's the rest of the Order... only I... her brow twitches a bit--she'd thought her contemporary had mostly grown out of that desire to see herself as the troubled protagonist of the universe, but perhaps she'd been mistaken. She knows her judgement is generally sound but hardly infallible.

She lets Layne say her piece, but Luth actually has a question.

Luth Khalan wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 18, 2022 9:50 am

"It's hard to say. But hence why my question isn't related to your organization, no offense intended. Just the Force and one's... internal landscape, if you will."

"Anyway... interesting."

"It is internal, yes. It's between the lost person herself and the Force." She glances at Thy, who'd spoken well for the Order--but this seems to be something of a separate question. "No one else can do it for you, and it can be very hard. One has to choose the light over and over, even when turning back to the dark would be easier. Even when the people you've hurt don't forgive you, and the actions you took still have consequences. If it's cheap and easy, it usually isn't real." Her voice is gentle even if the words are uncompromising.

Yes, she was fully agreeing with Thy. Layne *was* being an idiot, even she could tell. Agreed with Tethys, too as she spoke to Luth. But this? This was all she had to go on. All she *could* do.

And thank you, Master Yulani. For giving me words I can angrily throw mine back at, to make this all sound more natural and convincing.

"So quick to judge me, yet so slow to act. And even then, always unwilling to do what must be done. You could've stopped me, but you didn't. That's always been the problem with the Jedi, hasn't it? I told the Council what Baras was planning to do to the Emperor's Voice on Voss, and they did too little, too late. They failed where I would have succeeded. I warned them that would be the outcome, and they did not listen."

That last sentence was delivered like the blow of a blacksmith's hammer. But it would only be the first blow, and she would not be interrupted before the nail was firmly stuck in the coffin.

"I *acted* on Bankor. I followed my instincts and they led me to uncover what the Emperor was planning to do to the galaxy. My instincts saw what none of you could. But then I listened to all of you, instead of to those instincts. Peace. Patience. Tranquility. You did not trust me, and because of it, I did not trust myself. And look where it led. Innocent blood on my hands, Lunda almost lost, and Zash laughing as she got away with it all."

"We told the council of the planned attack on the temple too. Not the first time I warned them of *that*, by the way. And what did they do? *Nothing*. Or not nearly enough. They were told what would happen, and then they let it. What I did *not* tell them was that after Bankor, I returned to Yavin to meet in secret with its Queen, the Emperor's Wrath, and yes, that same Darth Zash. The council would never have approved, and they would've interfered and messed it all up even if they had. Together, we talked of plans to kill the Emperor, and we set things in motion. But, being a Jedi, my role to play in that could only be indirect, and minor. And so I wasn't there when it happened. Perhaps if I *had* been, it would've actually *worked* the way it was supposed to."

She shrugged.

"But it was over then, wasn't it? I could finally do away with that way of thinking. It no longer fell to me to be the one doing what needed to be done. I could finally dedicate myself to the Light like I had wanted to ever since Korriban. I could *finally* try and be like the rest of you.... And then you decided to try and assassinate a child. True, an evil child that will bring nothing but calamity to the galaxy... but the hypocrisy was unbearable. All those years of being told I can't do this, I can't do that. We're better than that, Layne... And then, what? The council decides to go and do the same thing I used to do as a Sith. And they couldn't even get it right... What a waste of *everything*."

"Yet somehow I still stayed the course despite that example. And ever so slowly, and no thanks to the Order, I found myself entering the Light after all. Because despite it all, I had done my part. Despite all the war and suffering that just kept coming our way, the galaxy had been spared the very worst of fates, and I no longer had to be burdened by anything anymore."

She steeled her resolve, to be able to deliver the last hammerblow of words she'd practiced over and over in her head. Her voice almost but not quite cracking as she started.

"But.. Peace is a Lie. The truth was revealed to me the day we came here. I followed the dreams the Force gave me, and I learned the truth. The Emperor died. And yet he still lives. Neither Death nor Life can claim him now, and *all* I have done and sacrificed has been for *nothing*. And now his children will come for us all."

"What I do now? What I *have* done already? I have but the tiniest hope going forward now. A path was revealed to me, and I must walk it. No matter the cost."

For you.

For me.

Tethys Carrack wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 18, 2022 10:06 am

<snip>

"I imagine the very hypothetical individual making that choice would have to acknowledge that they don't control others, that consequences are their responsibility while affecting others, and make peace with that. While also acknowledging that it's worth it not to give up on the light or themselves. Thank you for your thoughts."

Then Layne began. Ah, it was time to play her role. She put her helmet on, pulled up her hood and listened.

Baesal sat silently with a mug of hot cocoa staring intently and in disbelief as Layne...oh boy...

She reached her comms and whispered ''Put the goat cheese omelette on the back burner R-Five, it's not that kind of meeting'' before taking a deep breath.

First she gave he own answer to Luth ''Without losing ourselved in decades of philosophy I am at ease to say that the Light is like a torch we all carry. The Flame can be reduced to embers or be snuffed out if not careful or through trauma but the torch is always there. It can always be reignited either by finding it's source again or through another's willing to share their Flame with us''

Simple but it was elegant enough, she thought

Then she turned to Layne, mesured concern visible on her brow.

''Layne...What's happening? Of course we care about what you have to say.'' but Layne was already on her tirade so she waited and listened.

Then she spoke sincerely

''What is your plan. Layne?''

Well that was a long and lengthy monologue speaking of internal insecurities of not being the one to kill the Emperor, that everyone should just trust her... but there seemed to be little trust the other way.

Kat did not frown, rather settled for calm neutrality, as a lot of this seemed to deal with events she had had no role in.

"Layne," she began softly, "we all have difficulties. Crises of faith. You ask for us, the Jedi, to trust you, and from my experience with you on Alderaan, you were given trust. But you must also trust us in return. Through the Force, we are connected, and you can confide in us, and let us help you. No Jedi is alone, and you don't have to deal with these difficulties alone if you let us in." She placed the ball in Layne's court - to open up, to lean on them, ask for help from them. As Jedi would do.

"I know what it's like to feel disillusioned with the Order, with the way things are. After... after Master Syo disappeared, and the attempted assassination that some moved for which I disagreed with, and the loss of the temple on Coruscant with our many fellow Jedi and younglings there... I did consider for a while to leave the Order. But on Alderaan, having had time to reflect on this, and being with my fellow Jedi, I saw that if I want improvement for the Order and its future, I must try to be a change, rather than just leave."

"You all have never trusted me," she said, "Not fully. And not when it mattered. But you are right, through the Force all things are connected. And not unlike a circle, we end up back where we began. I am sure you have all uncovered your own truths of what is happening here. What brought us all here. You have yours. And I have mine. The Force revealed a way that I might find a way to help stop what is coming for us. And the things I have done, and will do, are so that I might do it without being destroyed by it."

"It is the stupid hope of a stupid idiot. But if I do not, well... then we are doomed anyway. So what does it matter if I doom myself a little sooner?"



[OOC: As a point of OOC clarification, after talking to others in PM's and on discord, the Jedi are generally an observant bunch. They should be able to figure out or get the sense that Layne is both telling the truth and lying here. That she's trying to present the image of someone who is completely lost already because she believes she *must* do whatever it is she's doing and if she doesn't burn her bridges the Jedi will stop her from doing it. BUT she's also *desperately* hoping that after she's done it, they will forgive her and help her forgive herself. Which means that Layne herself, at least, is really hoping to keep open the door. At the same time, that is what Baras wants her to project to them as well, which adds further complexity to it, but it really is true. She wants the jedi to save her, just not before she sees things through.

So if you want your characters to pick up on any of that, being jedi and all, you should absolutely feel free to do so. Layne is not a good liar, it wouldn't be hard to figure out something along these lines is going on. If you want to roll for it instead of assuming, she only has 2 greens for deception

Anyway, just clarifying, because again, I don't want people to get frustrated into thinking it's all already played out and they can't do anything.]

"Layne," again, that soft tone, balanced and calm as she always was, "we don't have a long history, but I haven't distrusted you in the time I have known you. The Order granted you the rank of Master, so clearly they don't distrust you either - saying otherwise is a lie, and you know it."

Kat sighed. "So why don't you say what is actually going on, because you are trying to obfuscate it, repeatedly going on about what you need to do as if you are the only one who matters, placing yourself above everything. We all know there is a great threat coming to us soon, here on Hoth, but it's not one that can be defeated by a single person. This is bigger than all of us." Her tone was more direct now. "So, stop trying to throw blame around to distract us. What is going on exactly?"


------

D3 EA Discipline/Willpower to see through the deceit. Destiny flip: 3eP+2eD 1 success, 1 advantage


Kat is not buying whatever bantha-poodoo Layne is trying to sell.

Thy said, "You play a dangerous and foolish game, my friend."

She left.

Breela was leaning against the wall in silence, listening.

Baesal Zyn wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 18, 2022 10:33 am

First she gave he own answer to Luth ''Without losing ourselved in decades of philosophy I am at ease to say that the Light is like a torch we all carry. The Flame can be reduced to embers or be snuffed out if not careful or through trauma but the torch is always there. It can always be reignited either by finding it's source again or through another's willing to share their Flame with us''

"Kindness and commitment kindle the light." She agrees.

Throughout Layne's diatribe Breela finds herself partly agreeing with Layne, partly confident that she only experienced one side of the story. HERS.

Concerning the former Grandmaster: Yep, that sounds familiar. Falls right inside the old hypocrites' playbook.
Concerning the temple attack: Does she mean... Coruscant? She warned them of the attack and they did nothing?

Again, relevant information likely missing.

Katarzyna Panteer wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 18, 2022 10:39 am

"Layne," she began softly, "we all have difficulties. Crises of faith. You ask for us, the Jedi, to trust you, and from my experience with you on Alderaan, you were given trust. But you must also trust us in return. Through the Force, we are connected, and you can confide in us, and let us help you. No Jedi is alone, and you don't have to deal with these difficulties alone if you let us in." She placed the ball in Layne's court - to open up, to lean on them, ask for help from them. As Jedi would do.

"I know what it's like to feel disillusioned with the Order, with the way things are. After... after Master Syo disappeared, and the attempted assassination that some moved for which I disagreed with, and the loss of the temple on Coruscant with our many fellow Jedi and younglings there... I did consider for a while to leave the Order. But on Alderaan, having had time to reflect on this, and being with my fellow Jedi, I saw that if I want improvement for the Order and its future, I must try to be a change, rather than just leave."

Breela will quirk an eyebrow at Kat and nod her head in agreement. The same reason I'm not going anywhere.

All that out the way:

"Layne, I'll never turn my back on you. If you need me I'm here. But if you wish to walk this path alone, as you are want to do. Words won't stop you. Actions may stop you. But the light side of the force, and trust, require commitment. I'm committed to the high road as I'm committed to trusting you." She'll turn to Luth. "If you've grown tired of living in darkness, I'll pray for your redemption." That's all she really wanted to say so she'll show herself out.

“Layne…” two vertical worry lines carve deeply between Tethys’s eyebrows. “If I knew that all this time you were building the meaning of your life on who you could kill, instead of what you could build… if you’d just told us that much. Then I would have warned you how it would end.”

“You can’t find a path to the ends of the Light through the Dark. Many Jedi have tried. In the end it didn’t make them special, it made them broken like all the others. Don’t do this. You have a choice to let us help you, but it’s yours, not ours. If that door you have your foot through closes, it will be your choice.”

She watched Thy go; part of her glad and thankful that she seemed to grasp at least part of what she'd wanted her to. To make it easier. And the other part of her angry and sad for the very same reason; for making it easy.

The others received... similar sentiments. Gratitude for the fact they tried in their own ways. Anger for the fact they tried it *now*, when it couldn't make a difference. Tethys though...

...there was only despair to be found in those words. And for a few moments, Layne's expression shifted to match it. If what Tethys was saying was true, and they would not help her in the end after all... then *this* was that darkest moment that she had told Baras about.

"Then it is already too late," she said. "I..."

She swallowed it away. Expression shifting to a more composed one once more.

"...I thought the Jedi would *always* help. No matter what I would end up doing. Because even now, after every way in which I've seen the order fail, I hoped that you could still be what I always hoped you were. But... I guess perhaps I was mistaken after all."

She shrugged, then. Straightening her back. Composing herself further.

"You are still avoiding answering anything," Kat chimed in, frowning slightly as Layne was still not saying what she had ended up doing, or what she was going to do.

"Yes, the Jedi help, but we can't walk the path for another person. What have you ended up doing, Layne?"

Baesal kept listening, her mind racing as the exchange was becoming futile...unless

She knew Layne. She had known Layne from their first meeting in the shuttle to Korriban where the Empire wanted them forged into blades, she had been there when she joined the Jedi, when they met the Wrath on Bankor...she was also there in the Alderaan system where Layne showed the fruits of her work.

She knew Layne. She was not stupid nor was she selfish but she was bullheaded and prone to pump herself up for no reason. Typical defense mechanisms.

I thought you had healed...I guess some wounds remained

''R-Five? Protocol Zeta Six, if you please.'' she asked in her comms

There was no use talking now unless the situation changed.

And changed it would

A soft crystalinne chiming could be heard now in the Moth

She looked thoughtful for a moment or two at Katarzyna's question. They were all making this so difficult.

"I did something unforgiveable," she said, finally.

"But I've done a lot of that in my life. Please don't make me say it, it should be obvious enough from that. And now, I must go and see if I may earn back what I have given up. I did not deserve it the first time around. Just, make--"

Protocol zeta-six. Whatever that was. The chime interrupted her. Or maybe she'd simply ignored it to say what she did, only now becoming aware of the change in the ship.

And she cocked her head to the side, a hand going to her lightsaber.

"...really? *now*? Far too late, Baesal."

Luth looked around at the ship. Hold on a second. "Uh... What's going on?"