Hoth: Blood and Ice

"A mystery, I'm afraid. It's hardly anything you could call love. Probably, anyway," she said.

"Everyone is so far away now. I miss emotional and physical closeness. But... it's the bed I made."

"Then come here and sit with me. Just feel what I feel. I'm open to you, I don't expect the same. Maybe it'll jog old memories."

She nodded and sat down with him, close up against his side, opening herself up to feel what he feels.

There is definitely a strong sense of nostalgia, a heady excitement for everything that is going on, and an attraction that is likely reminiscent of what she felt from him in the past. But it's not overbearingly heavy with aggression like in the past. It's more of a leashed beast that doesn't usually test it's boundaries anymore, but it's about to find out it's free.

She let out a soft breath, trying to relax, letting herself feel the emotions he had opened her to. She was out of practice in doing anything other than keeping a high, impenetrable wall between herself and others. Slowly, it came down, though. Contentment, nostalgia of her own, attraction toward him like years ago, nervousness, wistful sadness, and underneath it all, buried some seething, burning feeling that's hard to pin down. Hatred? Rage? Love? Some mix of any of them? It was hard to tell. Maybe she didn't even know. It's not directed at him regardless.

Putting an arm around her shoulders, he squeezes her against himself. Her feelings of attraction just compound with his own. "I hate to admit it got easier over time, but feeling you now makes it difficult once more."

He smiles towards her and places a small kiss on her forehead.

She leaned in to him, practically snuggling against him. When he kissed her forehead, she leaned into it, closing her eyes. There was a wash of relief and affection. "I do specialize in making things difficult. What got easier over time that's become more difficult now?"

"Thinking about you. Each day your absence was felt less, but was always there. Now it's come back completely," he explains softly. "But if we may very well not come out of this alive, we may as well live without regrets."

She nodded, looking up at him thoughtfully. "I know what you mean... With both things you said. I suppose how complicated that is depends on what you hope for."

"I don't even know what I hope for really. I have a lot in my life that I love and hate. I guess I hope to be able to kill those I hate more than anything else. But spending time with those I love is a great alternative."

"Kill enough people you hate and all you'll be left with is the latter," she noted with a chuckle, becoming more relaxed. She took his free hand and held it close. "Though I admit... Killing the people I hate is appealing. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet, personally."

"I've never been not ready, at least emotionally. My hangup has always been that it's an almost guaranteed loss by myself for some of them. Too expensive a security situation and too many lackeys."

"That's you all over. Though yeah... deciding when the risk is worth it, when there's enough back up compared to power..." She sighed. "And whether it's something I even want to do in my case."

"It's always your choice to make, nobody else can make it for you. At least they shouldn't, because you should be in charge of your life. Don't let anyone take that control. If you want to do something, do it unapologetically," he says, encouraging her individual liberty.

She nodded, letting comfort subsume her conflict on the matter for now. It could wait. She would rather focus on being here and now.

He leans his head close and kisses her forehead. For now he just sat in quiet comfort with Luth. His feelings seemed to swirl and burrow amongst her own.