Hoth: Blood and Ice

[Layne Hoshin]

Layne was just coming out of her ship; the still not-fully-fixed Sunset Dawn. It was possible that Skivulker and the rest of the crew had come back in after their ordeal; the ship was open to them after all; but they might also just be preferring the comforts of the barracks and base instead.

Regardless, Layne had come back out after a quick trip inside to handle some basic stuff, then seemed to remember something once she reached the bottom of the ramp. Reaching into a pocket, she pulled out the drawing the Jawa kid had made of her. It was a terrible drawing, though she could hardly expect a kid to make something on an artistically competent level, could she?

She frowned, looking at it.

Ugh. She was going to have find somewhere to put it if she didn't want to feel bad for just throwing it away.

She was about to head back inside to do just that, when...

[Sylvain Torsin]

A man walked near her ship and spoke loud enough for her to hear.

“Save yourself some heartache and don’t put it up in your personal quarters.”

[Layne Hoshin]

She looked at the owner of the voice, then sighed.

"Are you still convinced you're the tragic knower of all doomed futures? It's just a Jawa's drawing, it's not going to make my heart ache and even if it does it's not going to make me go any darker than I've already gone."

[Sylvain Torsin]

Sylvain just smirked.

“Then place it right next to your bed if you really want to.”

He paused for a moment, “It seems you got in a bit of trouble while I was away…”

[Layne Hoshin]

"Don't make me punch that smirk off your face, Torsin. I'm not a proper Jedi anymore, so I'd do it, too."

She sighed.

"...Yeah. Baras took ample advantage of my stupidity, and now I'm a convicted murderer."

Another sigh as she looked about. "Let's not do this here. Come on up I guess."

[Sylvain Torsin]

Sylvain followed Layne up into the craft.

"So... murder, huh?"

[Layne Hoshin]

The inside of her ship hadn't really seen too much cleaning since the crash when they got here; but the clutter was at least manageable now.

"...Yeah," she said, heading into the common room of the ship, "Lt. Ujips. I thought it was... necessary. Got obsessed with that whole emperor thing again, all my failures and... well, you heard me whine about it in the cave. Thought I had to make one last dive into the darkness to accomplish the one big thing that would balance it all out. Baras sensed me throwing myself into the dark like that, and helped me along. Put the Lt. in front of me as a sacrificial proof of resolve. You know how it goes with the Sith..."

"...and I was stupid enough to go through with it."

[Sylvain Torsin]

Sylvain nodded as she spoke.

"And now? You seem to regret this behavior..."

[Layne Hoshin]

"There is truth in darkness, it's just covered in lies. You went in there hoping to find something to use against Zakuul, I'm guessing. And it showed you what you think was the many different flavors of an inevitable outcome that you end up being trapped by like some tragic hero. Right? But I don't believe that it did. I think it just showed you that because that's what *you* think you are, or deserve to be, or something along those lines. And by showing you these things, you can end up falling further into despair and darkness because of it. Proof that you really are the tragic hero, on some grand big doomed quest to save everyone. Blah blah. Only you've seen the truth. Blah blah. Trapped by it. Blah blah, tragedy."

She took a seat and put her feet up on the central table.

"It's a lie. But that doesn't mean there's nothing there. It's a lesson. One you either overcome and learn, or you don't and fall. You either get trapped in the reflection it shows you, or you learn something about yourself by facing yourself."

Layne looked away then, staring at a wall. "It was like that for me the first time in there, remember? All I saw were the endless failures I had accumulated over my life. Trapped by them. Forced to relive every single one. That's what made me go back in the darkness, to balance them all out with some great big sacrifice. Which is ironic, because when I went in there the second time... I learned how foolish that king of thinking was in the first place. I saw where that thinking would lead me, and I didn't like it."

And she looked back to him. "It taught me a lot about myself. Ironically, if I wasn't so obsessed with earning redemption that I'd rush down the darkness in a desperate attempt to earn it, I never would've realized that I never had any need to earn it like that in the first place."

[Sylvain Torsin]

"I see... I thank you for your insight." He said with a nod.

"I interpret the events that happened to me in a different light... But I assure you, the things you are concerned about are not a potential pitfall for me. I have kept myself despite the things I have seen... And do not view myself as some sort of chosen one. I said quite the opposite on the ship after you picked me up..."

He shrugged, "I have a part to play. As do we all. Each drop in the ocean is insignificant... but some of them do sparkle given the right conditions. That is all I can hope for in the end... To shine as I should in the moment that conditions allow."

He tilted his head slightly, "I don't assume to know all the answers. I have seen much... but also know very little. Please do not mistake my confusion for some kind of elitist esotericism."

[Layne Hoshin]

She sighed. "Ugh... I want to punch you again for still not fully getting it and for sounding the way you do... But whatever, I'm tired of being angry again all the time, and it doesn't really matter anyway. Besides, the anger I'm feeling right now might just as easily be more about my issues than yours."

Layne shifted the weight of her feet on the table. "Anyway, the future I saw for myself, I've already diverted from. That's really all I cared about after going in there. All it took was for me to stop being obsessed with being the one. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to live with being who I am. ...It's an ongoing struggle."

[Sylvain Torsin]

Sylvain nodded, "You are a complicated 'one'. But 'one' that can do a great deal. I know you don't care much for my observations... or for advice from others. So I do not offer it... But despite whatever has transpired... or will... I do consider you someone worthy of trust. Irrespective of my experiences in the cave, there are futures where we are friends Layne... Even if it does result in the occasional punch to my face."

[Layne Hoshin]

"You *need* the occasional punch in the face, Sylvain," she said, "Keeps you from getting either too full of yourself or too mopey."

She looked up at the ceiling at that point, putting her hands behind her head.

"And I *have* been taking advice from others recently, actually. I don't *like* doing it, but I'm *trying* to be better about that sort of stuff. I'm even trying to find a hobby because of it."

[Sylvain Torsin]

"What is this hobby?" He asked.

[Layne Hoshin]

"...I'm still trying to find it, geeze," she said, "Someone suggested I should learn how to just... have fun, I guess. Not make it so that everything I do is for some big or pragmatic reason. Anyway, so far all I've tried is drawing though. I don't know if it's fun, really. Still trying to figure out what 'fun' even is."

[Sylvain Torsin]

"Have you tried sledding... My daughter seems to enjoy it..." He replied.

[Layne Hoshin]

"...I think I'm a little too old to pick up *that* hobby," she said, "I did think about trying orbital bungee-jumping though. But that'll probably have to wait until after all this is done...assuming I make it through, of course."

She sighed.

"Although I'm not sure they'll let me try it in prison, I guess."

[Sylvain Torsin]

"Age is just a number Layne..." He replied.

"But prison can sure prevent one from having fun. Where is your prison?"

[Layne Hoshin]

"Undecided. Thy convinced the tribunal it should be guided meditation and the like on Tython. But I told the tribunal I'd prefer regular prison because I don't believe as the Jedi do anymore. Or I guess because of some lingering notion that I should suffer before earning redemption. Apparently regular prison is not an option because I'm too dangerous to be kept in one, but the senator suggested there was another option. It was all very mysterious, eliciting frowns from Thy and what not."

She chuckled, seemingly not too bothered by it. "So I don't know. Once we're off this rock I'm probably filing a proper appeal to get a real trial going instead of whatever we had. And then I'll see where that goes."

[Sylvain Torsin]

"If there are the same institutions to enforce such things..." He replied.

[Layne Hoshin]

She rolled her eyes. "It's not going to be that bad," she said, "I'm sure. I'm not the only one to have seen the future that lays beyond this, you know. I'm pretty sure there will still be an empire and a republic. Just beat up a bit, maybe."

[Sylvain Torsin]

"If things go well..." He replied with a nod.

"If they don't... well... We shall see."

[Layne Hoshin]

"...okay. So what's next then? And don't tell me it's the power of friendship. What do we do?"

[Sylvain Torsin]

"You seem to have missed the part where I do not claim clairvoyance... I know the Dark has no answers... for its nature is to abhor cooperation." He replied.

"I believe what I saw to be a reflection of the truth as provided to me by the Force... The Force connects all living beings and does extend beyond the mirror of my own self-reflection; though ultimately it is interpreted by me... seeing that is how all information must eventually be processed. If we are to draw meaning from what the Force is telling me, however, that means we must rely on something other than rampant individualism and self-aggrandizement to accomplish victory over the Eternal Empire... Or in other words as you seem predisposed to call it... The power of friendship." He continued.

"Your condescension notwithstanding, the only 'hope' that we have is through increased collaboration and mutual belief... Trust is not a word you want to hear I suppose... Understandably so, I might add, given your life experiences... but it is the only thing that gets us out of the overwhelming odds posed against us."

He tilted his head, "I could bend more philosophically if you so desired, but ultimately I feel that type of conversation would be unfruitful... You are not one to accept ideas others present so easily... You must feel it comes from within to accept it. So any words I lambast you with are more likely to have the opposite effect."

[Layne Hoshin]

"I *am* rather stubborn, yes," she shrugged, "But then so are you. Anyway, I'm still not hearing anything that isn't just handwavey vagueness. You want collaboration, that's just common sense. It'll happen regardless of how gung-ho about it you are, or how 'condescending' I am. But mutual 'belief'? Come on. You can't even get a Jedi to agree with you that the Dark is nothing but bad mojo..."

She pulled her feet off the table again.

"...how are you going to handle people like Baras, or Zhorrid?"