Immortal in the Force [Layne's Epilogue]
Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2022 4:37 pm
Let me tell you one final story...
Time would pass; and still she had not found redemption. A proper trial and sentence had not come after all; how could it with the conflict that gripped the galaxy? And perhaps in part because of it, the Dark Side still clinged to her; even as the Light fought back.
In those times she was often the first to rush into danger; a frightful presence for any enemy to meet, a seemingly unstoppable force. A story told among the Zakuul warriors; of the woman with the enigmatic darksaber, a prodigy of the weapon and its ancient forms. Who simply would not go down or give up.
For someone who had known little but hate and anger for so long though, there *was* something different about her in those years, as well. A realization had dawned on her; and though she had not been quite ready for that final step, she had begun to heal the wounds that had caused her to close herself of from everything. And in that process, she finally allowed others in.
All it took to get to that point, was love.
A love that had warned her away from the path that would lead to her end, but which would end her all the same; if in a different way.
In the end she did not fight against Daz as she had once foreseen, but rather alongside him. Back to back. Outnumbered but never outmatched. It was a battle like any other, the stakes were always high, the odds always seemingly impossible, the consequences of failure always unacceptable. How many countless such encounters had she known throughout her life? She could've sacrificed her life in any number of them, and it would've meant something, to someone... but not to her.
Only this one could mean anything to her.
She knew what would happen when she pushed Daz out of the way, and she knew what would happen if she didn't. Her final act in life was to trade it for his. And all the other people that depended on them both, yes, but mostly just his. Sacrificing her life to save the entire galaxy had once seemed necessary to earn the Light...
...but saving her brother ended up being more than enough.
In that final moment, Layne saw herself as she'd been along different important points in her life. Each a reflection of who she was then and remained in the end. Each a step she had to take to get to where she's ended up.
She saw herself back on Korriban, nothing but anger and hate, ignorant of the ways of the Force, and even more ignorant of herself. Grasping at power for no reason other than to stop feeling so powerless and afraid.
She saw herself back on Nar Shaddaa, still angry and still full of hate, but searching for meaning to it all. A child looking to be free from herself and the chaos within, hoping against hope that she might've found the path to peace.
She saw herself back on Bankor, full of fire and struggling in quiet desperation to accept herself as being worthy. Worthy of the peace and forgiveness others had insisted on giving her.
She saw herself back on Alderaan, believing she had finally earned it, and trying to teach her padawan things the student had already grasped but the master still failed to understand.
She saw herself back on Alderaan at the end of those events, and the years that followed. One with the Light and its power, but ignorant of what was still missing from her heart.
She saw herself back before crashing into the ice covered wastes of Hoth, seeking to answer the mystery she hadn't even fully discerned the shape of yet...
...and then on Hoth itself, learning what that hole in her heart had been all along, and thinking she could find the missing piece only in darkness...
...and learning the truth she should've known from the start, and struggling with what it'd cost her to find out...
...and in those final moments... choosing to accept where she'd come from. Choosing to accept what came next. Choosing to accept what she'd done, the evils she'd committed and the good achieved, the failures and victories both. Choosing to accept the people who have been there for her, that she didn't think she deserved.
Choosing, finally, to accept who she was.
All of it.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no fear, there is power.
I am the heart of the Force.
I am the revealing fire of light.
I am the mystery of darkness.
In balance with chaos and harmony,
Immortal in the Force.
Time would pass; and still she had not found redemption. A proper trial and sentence had not come after all; how could it with the conflict that gripped the galaxy? And perhaps in part because of it, the Dark Side still clinged to her; even as the Light fought back.
In those times she was often the first to rush into danger; a frightful presence for any enemy to meet, a seemingly unstoppable force. A story told among the Zakuul warriors; of the woman with the enigmatic darksaber, a prodigy of the weapon and its ancient forms. Who simply would not go down or give up.
For someone who had known little but hate and anger for so long though, there *was* something different about her in those years, as well. A realization had dawned on her; and though she had not been quite ready for that final step, she had begun to heal the wounds that had caused her to close herself of from everything. And in that process, she finally allowed others in.
All it took to get to that point, was love.
A love that had warned her away from the path that would lead to her end, but which would end her all the same; if in a different way.
In the end she did not fight against Daz as she had once foreseen, but rather alongside him. Back to back. Outnumbered but never outmatched. It was a battle like any other, the stakes were always high, the odds always seemingly impossible, the consequences of failure always unacceptable. How many countless such encounters had she known throughout her life? She could've sacrificed her life in any number of them, and it would've meant something, to someone... but not to her.
Only this one could mean anything to her.
She knew what would happen when she pushed Daz out of the way, and she knew what would happen if she didn't. Her final act in life was to trade it for his. And all the other people that depended on them both, yes, but mostly just his. Sacrificing her life to save the entire galaxy had once seemed necessary to earn the Light...
...but saving her brother ended up being more than enough.
In that final moment, Layne saw herself as she'd been along different important points in her life. Each a reflection of who she was then and remained in the end. Each a step she had to take to get to where she's ended up.
She saw herself back on Korriban, nothing but anger and hate, ignorant of the ways of the Force, and even more ignorant of herself. Grasping at power for no reason other than to stop feeling so powerless and afraid.
She saw herself back on Nar Shaddaa, still angry and still full of hate, but searching for meaning to it all. A child looking to be free from herself and the chaos within, hoping against hope that she might've found the path to peace.
She saw herself back on Bankor, full of fire and struggling in quiet desperation to accept herself as being worthy. Worthy of the peace and forgiveness others had insisted on giving her.
She saw herself back on Alderaan, believing she had finally earned it, and trying to teach her padawan things the student had already grasped but the master still failed to understand.
She saw herself back on Alderaan at the end of those events, and the years that followed. One with the Light and its power, but ignorant of what was still missing from her heart.
She saw herself back before crashing into the ice covered wastes of Hoth, seeking to answer the mystery she hadn't even fully discerned the shape of yet...
...and then on Hoth itself, learning what that hole in her heart had been all along, and thinking she could find the missing piece only in darkness...
...and learning the truth she should've known from the start, and struggling with what it'd cost her to find out...
...and in those final moments... choosing to accept where she'd come from. Choosing to accept what came next. Choosing to accept what she'd done, the evils she'd committed and the good achieved, the failures and victories both. Choosing to accept the people who have been there for her, that she didn't think she deserved.
Choosing, finally, to accept who she was.
All of it.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no fear, there is power.
I am the heart of the Force.
I am the revealing fire of light.
I am the mystery of darkness.
In balance with chaos and harmony,
Immortal in the Force.