Hoth: Blood and Ice

[Luth Khalan]

Luth walked down into the steam vents, to the bath. It wasn't unlike what Draahg had done the other day, but... she'd needed a little more time to be able to do this. Lots of conversations with friends yesterday as she tried to process everything. there was one bit of closure she needed left, and it was down here.

She paused by the space where Sylvain and Baras had died, looking over and and sighing softly before leaving her clothing behind on the side and stepping into the warm waters. She leaned against the side, facing away from the edge and their now-clean battlefield. Her hair floated out into the water where they met, a dark red cloud hovering around her waist and hips, almost like blood in the water.

"I'm probably just down here talking to myself. You're probably not anywhere you can hear me. I need to talk, though, finally, and the possibility that you might hear me will have to be good enough."

She lapsed into silence for a moment, the only sound in the room the lapping of the water. Finally, she continued. "This really was all so ridiculous. If we had just talked like normal people, none of this would have happened. You loved me. I loved you, despite the blackmail and all the rest of it. I wouldn't have been so angry about you finally saying that if I didn't. I wouldn't have been crying half of the last day and night... of course, you weren't the only one I was crying for. I was so angry that you didn't say anything until the very end... and then you told Sylvain instead of me directly. I should have stopped everything then and there."

"He never had the power to steal anything from you, you know. I did love him, do love him, but my decisions are my own. Maybe I would have left you sooner, or maybe something else would have been different. I don't know... I guess there's no way of knowing now. Anyway... he didn't have any influence here; it was all me. And, in a stupid way, it wasn't just love for the kids that made me try to do what I did. I didn't want to see any of our family kill each other. It's so cruel, a society that puts any family in that position. It shattering is just... inevitability. I wanted them to have the choice not to, or at least let it be deliberate if they were going to, not just a side effect of existing as Force sensitives in the Sith Empire."

"Anyway... Draahg has control of things now. It's fine. Moyr thinks he'll be a disaster for the Empire, but honestly? He's just one of many powerful Sith. At least now, if Van or Aral want to reclaim what you built up for them, they'll have to take it from him. They're free to do that or not, so... despite everything, I don't think I did the wrong thing for them. They're going to grow up in the Republic, but I'm not going to hide you from them."

"... I noticed the jealousy, you know. I was just too scared to say anything, in case I was wrong. I was also tempted to ask you if you wanted to resume a more... intimate relationship, but I was afraid of rejection. So the whole lack of communication thing is on me, too. Fear is a killer. Two people too wrapped up in fear, control, manipulation, and lies to be able to actually do what they need to do."

"Anyway... that's it. My final report, I guess." She felt her eyes filling with tears again. "You bastard. I can't stand that I'm crying over you."

She dipped her head into the water to get rid of them before leaning back against the wall of the bath again, taking a deep breath, closing her eyes, and letting it out. It was cleansing. It would be easier to move forward now.