Hoth: Blood and Ice

[Layne Hoshin]

Find a hobby, he'd said. She hadn't really given it much thought. Ever.

What could she do just for fun? It wasn't as if she'd *never* done fun things. But they were always brief at best, and probably not the kind of things that could qualify as 'hobbies' in any case. They were base pleasures like sex or drinking. Punching in a training droid's face. Nothing she derived any real meaning from.

Adrenaline, that was fun. Could that be a hobby? Rock climbing. Orbital bungee jumping? Probably yeah; but something told her he'd tell her to find something less active like that. Something that didn't seem like nothing more than a slightly less unhealthy stand-in for fighting and training, as a way to cope.

She *did* want to bungee jump from orbit though.

Bit hard to pull off right now.

She had no real alternatives for now, though. So she'd decided to just pick one of the more common type of hobbies people tended to have. Drawing. There were limited supplies; but managed to scrounge something up. Enough to get a basic start.

So there she was, in the room they'd put her in, drawing away.

Not paying attention to the rest of the world; she'd left the door open. Anyone walking by could see what she was up to.

[Galen Panteer]

Galen walked by. A moment later he returned and looked in. He was still a little worn from the afternoon's ordeal, but he imagined the doctor had a line waiting outside the med bay. Besides, he was curious. He didn't know Layne well, but he' couldn't remember seeing her this quiet, or this focused on something other than violence.

He moved closer to see what she was drawing.

[Layne Hoshin]

Her technique was essentially non-existent; the only time she could remember drawing anything at all, it was done with a finger or a rock, the canvas being the dusty soil of the mines.

Still, there was an idea in the drawing, somewhere. Ill-formed though it might be. Central on the canvas was the shape of a human figure; the background half dark, half light, though the dark half appeared to be flowing into the light half, helped along by what one might assume were supposed to represent hands coming out of the light half. And from that half-side of the background, that same darkness seemed to be taking over the figure in the center. As said, the technique was amateurish at best, but the idea behind it was strengthened by what seemed like frustration evident in the strokes themselves.

[Galen Panteer]

He wouldn't say it out loud, but it reminded him of his daughter. If it were Azaria, she'd become bored after about 10 more seconds.

[Layne Hoshin]

It would take more than ten seconds. She was genuiinely trying her best to explore this whole concept, even if she didn't really get it.

That said, she *did* become aware of the presence. She didn't look in that direction; just kept putting frustrated strokes down. But she did address him.

"...are you just going to gawk or what?"

[Galen Panteer]

"Gawk, for a little bit." he answered. "I didn't want to disrupt your process."

[Layne Hoshin]

She had no idea who the voice belonged to, of course. But maybe that was for the best. She kept her eyes focused on her drawing.

"...I see. Is it fun... to gawk?"

[Galen Panteer]

"More insightful than fun." he answered. "I haven't seen this side of you before. I haven't seen many sides of you, to be honest. I've just heard the stories."

[Layne Hoshin]

"Yeah, everyone's heard the stories, I'm sure."

She still remained focused on the drawing.

"What about them?"

[Galen Panteer]

"They are all tales others have told about you." he said. "I haven't heard it from you."

[Layne Hoshin]

"I don't like talking about that stuff," she said, continuing her efforts, "I hate that I've been talking about it as much as I have. And I hate that I hate it."

She messed things up with a penstroke that was too long, eliciting frustration as she went to work trying to fix it.

"Besides, I don't know who you are, but judging by your accent I can tell you wouldn't understand anyway."

[Galen Panteer]

"You don't need to tell me about it." he said. "It just occurred to me that it might be helpful to share your experiences. For you and for those you tell."

[Layne Hoshin]

"Yeah?" She sounded skeptical "...just makes me feel like I'm whining to people for cheap pity points. And then people either respond with that pity, which sucks, or they respond harshly by getting mad at me for making everything about myself or whatever. Which means *they* suck, and then I still just feel sorry for myself."

[Galen Panteer]

"I don't mean those people. I mean people who need to hear about the dangers of the lives we lead and the choices we make." he explained.

[Layne Hoshin]

"Yeah. Don't do murder, kids."

It sounded like sarcasm. It probably was, even.

[Galen Panteer]

"It's good advice. People underestimate how easy it can be to find personal justification for that."

[Layne Hoshin]

"I don't need to hear any more empty moralizing lectures," she said; starting work on a new set of hands coming out of the light half on the canvas to help the dark invade.

[Galen Panteer]

"You misunderstand. I think you should give the lectures."

[Layne Hoshin]

"People don't like my lectures," she said after letting out an annoyed sigh. "Doesn't matter anyway. Some things can't be taught."

[Galen Panteer]

"Alright, it was just a suggestion. I'm not sure how I would convince Kat anyway."

[Layne Hoshin]

She looked at him for a moment, then back to her drawing.

"...Good. I have no intention of ever stepping foot on Alderaan again, if that's what you were thinking of asking me to do."

[Galen Panteer]

"I thought you might prefer it to Tython." he shrugged. "Or, whatever the Senator has in mind."

[Layne Hoshin]

"Absolutely not," she said firmly, "Alderaan is everything I hate about the Republic and the so called Light. Hypocrisy. Inequality. Arrogance. If there was any fairness in the galaxy at all, the entirety of its wealth would be seized and distributed to the refugees it so callously rebuked. But instead, they will just keep throwing their lavish parties, run a damned soup-kitchen once a year, and then puff out their chests and pat themselves on the back for being good people all the while looking down on those that struggle through life."

[Galen Panteer]

"You're right." he nodded.

[Layne Hoshin]

"And yet nothing's changed."